The amazing legendary teacher Rita Pierson left this world in 2013. However, her lessons will continue to bring others into beautiful relationships that will change lives for the better through every teacher and every other human who has the fortune of reading about her or watching her TedTalks. Positive relationships matter now, more than ever.
Prior to the pandemic, people knew that making connections with others are powerful. People often want to be known. Really known. While many are afraid of rejection over the parts they don’t like about themselves, we still crave connection and true, unconditional understanding. From the first time a baby comes into the world and reacts to a loving touch or look, we all keep looking for genuine relationships with others.
As a teacher, it’s been hard in many ways. We’ve been in remote, in hybrid and soon, in-person. Making connections with our students, for most of us, is one of the biggest joys of our careers. We love what we teach, but we love who we teach much more.
Making those genuine relationships that make our students shine and grow knowing they are safe, are understood and are able to grow in the environment of that teacher’s classroom is magical. As this school year approached, so many of us educators worried about how we might make true, deep connections in a world that had shifted dramatically, no matter what might come next.
I love getting to know others and making connections that are real, whether they are momentary moments with a stranger in a store or ones that last for decades. As a teacher, it is a huge part of how I learn about my students, earn their trust and help them through the rollercoaster rides of going through the middle school years.
I love being real with them, and in turn, they all reciprocate in so many wondrous ways.
For example, a student who I had last year, could barely speak to me. Extremely shy, I never witnessed them even talk to other students. It was so hard to build a relationship with this student and know if I was connecting. Then, this very student took my creative writing class again this year.
Guess what? The student has been talking to me!
After I shared how very thrilled I was to take my class again after not knowing if I had any sort of impact on him, the response was, “You did. You definitely did. You never gave up on me, even when I wanted to give up.” Not only has the talking continued, but this amazing person shares more and more of themself through the writing we do.
Whew! That’s the power of connection.
Whether in the classroom or with any positive connections you make with others, we grow and thrive.
Another student I have had the pleasure to know and teach this year, through one of my remote classes, was one with whom I have a great relationship. However, while trying to hide it, I saw subtle shifts lately. The work ethic didn’t change, but something was wrong.
When I saw that they had missed some days this week, which rarely happen, I sent an email to connect.
My Subject: EVERYTHING OK?
My simply message was, “I know you’ve missed classes this week. Is everything okay?”
Not only did a response arrive rather quickly, but it was followed by sharing all that caused the absences and what I probably noticed when in class this week. Then, at the end, “I will be at school tomorrow! I really appreciate you and everything you done for me!! I look forward to seeing you and thank you for trying to make that connection. It means a lot. ”
In remote, during a pandemic, this student has still thrived in huge ways and is even entering my student leadership training program. Relationships are not just maintained when we are with each other but also when we are not able to be together. What we do through the harder moments often speaks far greater to another’s heart, when they need it most.
While all humans can learn and have successful lives, they can become their best selves so much quicker when they know they are valued.
Over my twenty years of teaching, I have seen a huge rise in mental health issues among more and more of our young people. For anyone to trust and share about this, it can be extremely difficult and sometimes, tragic.
Year after year, these students often confide in me verbally, through their assignments or in emails. While I always do what I need to do to make sure they get the help needed, from the right people, it is those connections that helps them to still become their best selves in the midst of their middle school years. More importantly, having those connections mean they are seen, heard, understood and they still matter.
That’s everything.
One of the biggest examples with a student who doesn’t see much worth in school, but is extremely intelligent and capable, happened today. While yes, my job is to help my students learn. Yet, as a human who knows that together we are better, we must look to help one another whenever possible.
Rita Pierson’s words say it all. Little did she know how much more it would mean after 2020 arrived.
I squatted down next to this student and simply asked, “Are you okay? You haven’t looked happy in a while.” For the first time, this student was the most real I’ve ever seen. They shared what they were struggling with the assignment. My response was from what I have noticed about this student, so I used that to provide the help needed. Not only did that shift his countenance in a good way, but he asked me for additional help. This, from a human who clearly doesn’t like being vulnerable, became so and even thanked me as the class left.
Whether our positive, genuine connections with others is small or large, they matter.
Whether our positive, genuine connections with others is in person, through a phone, a computer, or other virtual way, they matter.
Whether our positive, genuine connections with others lead to long lasting relationships or the two parties never see one another again, they matter.
We don’t need to always see the impacts of these moments.
If we learn how to connect in ways that are true, honest, fair, pure and meant for the good of those we encounter within the journeys of our lives, that most definitely MATTERS.
Know that you matter! There are others who see you, hear you, understand you and want to embrace you. Better yet, these people want to help you become the best YOU.
Trust isn’t easy, but when earned, it is an extremely powerful force in this world . . . before the pandemic, during and always will be.
As we usher in 2021, may we remember what truly matters.
So many are looking for 2021 to help us heal from what’s happened in 2020. Deaths of loved ones. Isolation. Lockdowns. Normal education having so many shifts. Fears in various forms. Faith and hope shaken up. Places shut down. Shortages and hoarding. Events cancelled. Places of worship shutting doors for weeks and months on end. Political unrest in ways never seen before. Racism and prejudices becoming harder to ignore. Loss of jobs, food, homes, relationships, and the list goes on and on.
I get it. I have faced a lot of that myself, as I’m sure you have, too.
There’s not a single human who can rescue us. God does all He can for us, yet we humans don’t make it easy. We never have.
We want life to get back to normal, while much of what was normal needed changing. Normal doesn’t exist.
We want masks gone. Not seeing full faces is not in our nature.
We want to hug and touch others. Humans crave connections.
We want to be there for our loved ones in the hospital or in adult care facilities. Going through hard times alone is not what we were meant to endure.
We want to gather with others for weddings, births, funerals and celebrations. Life milestones are important.
We want some sense of predictability we can rely on, after all of this. Yet, when was life ever predictable?
2021 will not erase the past and it will not entirely fix the world. However, each of us can do our parts and be the change this nation and world needs, be truly selfless and the best versions of who we each are meant to be in the time we have on this planet.
The best way to make 2021 a better year, involves all of us. May we do all we can to water those seeds.
We can each make the differences that are needed, making life easier for all. Each of us have purpose and it is those purposes within us that are parts of so many solutions. There is much to be changed, no doubt.
However, if we truly consider our fellow humans and other living creatures that inhabit the land, sea and skies, as well as the planet itself and our Creator, life in 2021 can be the turning point that can finally get us all on the right path.
By truly choosing to see others as humans who have their own burdens, we can have more compassion.
By truly listening to understand, rather than to have our say, we can have more empathy.
By giving of the resources we have to those in need, we can heal.
By trusting those who have proven themselves worthy and by giving the benefit of the doubt to others till shown otherwise, we can have more respect for others.
By seeking truth and not just trying to confirm our own conceptions, we can have better discernment.
By doing all we can, by valuing the lives of other, we can have more unity.
We are always a part of the equation. Each of us have more power to do good than most of us believe. Step out in 2021 and let’s do this, together!
While we head into 2021 in a matter of hours, reflect on what you have learned during this past year. Reflect on the good moments, because they also happened even if some were different than prior years, and learn from the bad ones.
While no year can fix so much, we can shift the trajectory too many of us have been on and begin moving into brighter days, weeks, months and years. We can leave a better legacy for those who come after us, rather than leaving behind more heartache.
May we all see the pandemic end or at least lessen to a huge degree soon.
Are you ready to be the fulcrum? Come join me and so many others. A shift is about to happen and we have plenty of room on the ride.
May we give, love, laugh, and enjoy one another more than ever before.
Let’s make 2021 the year we all begin to heal and help others to heal, because we seek to make our lives and those all around us the best examples of ourselves that we all need. When we are each on the other side of Heaven, may we truly do so knowing that we were “good and faithful servants” to all.
As we look in the mirror, may we each remember that today is a good day to have a good day, for us and for others. https://nikkibanas.com/
Healing comes in many ways. Seek and you shall find.
After reading today’s blog post, know that miracles happen for a reason. Each one of us matter. May miracles awaken you to see how you’re supposed to change this world for the better.
During these pandemic times, it is easy to focus on all of the negative aspects of life. However, with Thanksgiving less than a week away, it’s normally a time when we stop and think of what and who we are thankful for, in our lives. Now, more than ever, this is needed on a more regular basis.
I’d like to tell you some parts of my story. While many believe in certain miracles, there are those who don’t believe a miracle can happen in their own lives. For that matter, there are those that try to explain miracles away.
However, I am a walking miracle.
At the age of 12, I began having severe allergies and asthma out of the blue, it seemed. It all began as I was walking home from school with a friend of mine. Towards the start, my breathing became labored and only got worse as we walked the mile to my home. By the time we arrived, she had been holding me up to help me continue on and I collapsed into the entrance and onto the floor, as my mom opened the door. Within a short time, I was in my doctor’s office getting injections immediately, as they treated me and having confirmed what was happening.
Within a year of that same time, I also received confirmation that I had scoliosis. After finding a specialist, I was able to see that my spine was a perfect backwards S, which now made all of my back pains make sense. The pain was often horrendous and limited certain movements, as well.
When life is out of our control, there is One who is far greater than us.
Having severe allergies and asthma limited me from being around certain animals and various types of environments. I couldn’t exercise very much, as it too would exacerbate the asthma. I had to avoid any part of stores with strong smells, especially the lower levels of department stores with all the perfume and cologne scents. Being even on the farther side of those floors would trigger my lungs to spasm or get worse. From middle school through adulthood, I had specialists for my back, as well as for the allergies and asthma.
Over time, I just learned to adjust and tolerate the back pains, no matter how bad they got. As for the asthma, I hated how often it debilitated me from doing ordinary things and struggling to breathe through what felt like an airway the size of maybe a coffee stirrer straw.
Then, the miracles.
In 2000, I was at church. The pastor was up front praying and so were all of us. Eyes were closed and many of us were standing. I was in my pew, next to my husband. Suddenly, I hear God clearly say to me, “I know you’re in pain, and I know you have had others pray for you, but have you ever asked me to heal you?” Incredulously, I realized I never had asked him for this, though I had believed in the power of prayer since my earliest of years.
So I prayed. Then, the miracle happened, as I heard clicking sounds within me as my spine realigned and felt my body jolt with the transition. With everyone’s eyes closed in prayer, no one appeared to have noticed, but I began praising God as tears came down my face.
I had my husband, other family members and close friends touch my spine once the church service was over so they could realize this great miracle. There was no doubt that God had done what I explained to them. Glory, Hallelujah!
As for the allergies and asthma, they continued. I had gotten used to seeing a specialist regularly and all I had to use to manage. I have always loved singing and while I managed being on worship teams at various churches in my life, it never occurred to me how much of a miracle my strong singing capabilities were, with the asthma as severe as it was.
I always chalked that up to various exercises I started and continued doing on a regular basis to maintain as much breathing capacity as possible every day, and most especially so I can continue singing. Little did I know what a great miracle it was to sing as bad as the asthma was.
Over time, I had accepted the fact, based on what specialists had told me that I would like not be able to have a child without dying in the process and most definitely without alert them should a pregnancy ever happen in my future. There had been so many complications within my body, from everything that there was little chance of me surviving something like that.
Through the years, I had even had several times when I nearly died. The worst occurred while I was at work. A situation occurred that caused the asthma to go into overdrive. Paramedics came, and I knew it was the worse situation I had yet to experience, since there were so many of them and so much they were doing to me.
One of those paramedics was the father of two of my former students who after my recovery, came to visit me, because something had been gnawing at him since that day. How was I still alive? I looked at him and asked, “What do you mean?”
That’s when I learned that with everything that was hooked up and connected to me, I should have died either at my place of work, on the way or surely by the time I got to the hospital. Every indicator showed that I had zero percent oxygen in my system and my body was shutting down.
Yet, I remained conscious, even making the get me paper and pen to communicate with them, so my things could be gotten for me and whoever ended up teaching my students would know what to do. He said that’s why we all seemed so incredulous that day, as well as quite scared.
All, I can say is that God performed another miracle that day. Little did I know there was a greater one to come years later.
On April 7, 2013 God healed me completely of my major allergies and fully healed me from asthma. By that point in my life, I was on several medications for the allergies, plus several inhalers for the asthma, along with an epipen. These went with me everywhere I went. I always needed people to know where these things were, in case of emergencies, because emergencies happened often enough to warrant it.
So on that day in 2013, God chose to do another miracle. From that day onward, I have only needed an over the counter help for minor allergies. All other allergies were gone and never returned. The asthma was a complete thing of the past.
No more specialists. No more multiple medications, inhalers, injections, nor any need for the epipen. In fact, I was given an opportunity once to get an x-ray of my back, to see what it looked like years after my spine realigned. To see my spine fully straight wasn’t necessary for me, but it was wonderful to see. The only signs of it was a minuscule curve at the base and the fact that though my growth plates had already closed when the scoliosis had been confirmed, the miracle also gave me more height.
God wants the best for us, even when we don’t.
Since those miraculous moment, I have been able to be more active. I can be around animals, grass being mowed near me without having to isolate myself, walking in any place I choose, being near trees of all types. I’ve had so many opportunities open up for me, with the results of those miracles.
These parts of my life are just part of what I have personally experienced in my life, and I thank Almighty God, my Savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit for every bit of what I know are miracles.
You may be thinking that I must have been granted miracles in my life, because of who I am. Trust me when I say that’s not the case. God performs miracles, because of who He is.
God loves and wants us to know Him, no matter who we are. While He performs miracle each day, many don’t notice them for what they are, some try to explain them away, but if you really think about the details of what occurred, there’s only one answer: a miracle.
Check out the YouVersion Bible app or open your Bible if you have one, and see all of the miracles God has already done. Those people lived. Even those who don’t claim Jesus for who He is, once recorded much of the miraculous events that occurred.
If you are reading this, you too are a “living, breathing, walking miracle,” as written and sung by singer Matthew West in the video below. Listen to what happened to this young boy and others, and listen to the truth of this song. What have you got to lose?
Isn’t it time to start dwelling on the good in our lives? With God, there is hope. True hope. There is good in the world.
Still feeling skeptical? Please take a listen to Colton Dixon’s song “Miracles” which also came out this year. I don’t believe in coincidences. But, I do believe in miracles. In this song, you’ll hear from a believer, who also finds himself in awe every time God does miracles.
I would love to hear about your miracles. It’s great to read about those done for others. This Thanksgiving season and as we continue living through these times, know that you are here for a reason. You are here with purpose. A good purpose.
If you ever want to know more about this God of miracles, I would love to tell you more. He loves you no matter who you are, what you’ve done or what you think of yourself. He doesn’t want to change your world upside down. He simply wants to show you how much more there is for you. Trust me when I say that there is far more to my story, and I know without a doubt that He lives, that He is real and that He is trustworthy.
While there is much in life we cannot control. He can.
Just some of how our school staff was welcomed back to school two weeks ago.
Last spring, schools across the nation went remote. Not enough time to prepare. Everyone in shock from the pandemic.
What helped my school? Our culture. The environment that had been established way before life changed.
When life has ups and downs, the culture helps people to rise or fall.
Nothing was as good as it should have been. Not enough was known about much of anything, and I’m not just talking about education. A crisis of massive proportions arose across the globe, and we functioned as best we could.
Our principals and leadership met with groups of staff each week, so we stayed connected, made decisions and processed together and cared about one another. Culture.
Teachers taught, but we spent a lot of time having conversations with our students through video meetings, emails and phone calls. Culture.
Whether students or staff, we knew we could rely on one another. We knew to supply grace to each other. We knew we were a community and the culture helped us feel like not all was lost.
What said even more were families and students sending staff emails. They encouraged us. They asked if we were okay. They shared what we meant to them.
They supplied light back, because of the light we provided in darker times. A culture like that creates a safe place to function, no matter what.
Now, in a matter of days, our students will start the new school year. It most definitely will not be what it used to be, except for our culture.
Knowing that the cornerstone of our school is a community of learning while also teaching to the whole child, every child, we’ve been learning. Through the summer. Through extra professional development. Through our own feelings of what if what we’ve always known to do and what we’ve learned isn’t enough. Because our culture means we go above and beyond, always, because our students and their families matter. Details matter.
The pandemic hasn’t gone away. It’s why we changed from students either being remote or hybrid to all going remote to start. Culture we can still maintain, but without safety, it’s hard to learn and grow.
A school cannot have a culture that could take us through a pandemic time, without the right leadership. Principals who have led us with grace, understanding, realness and wisdom, even as they’ve made changes and admitted some of their own struggles through this process.
They’ve given us leadership roles to not only delegate, but to show their faith in us, even now.
They’ve given us time and shifted their original plans, so we could grow, but not break.
They had us make videos of ourselves so this year’s students and families can see us, hear us, and know how much we can’t wait to teach and to also support them all.
Even more powerful than all of that was having us email and call the families of those students who we will be with at the start of each day. We let them know what to expect so they’re not feeling nervous for the first day and beyond, for the students and their parents. To answer questions. But most of all, to help let out a breath, knowing we care enough to call and be there for them even before we have met their children. Culture.
On my end, I adored talking to students who were excited to hear from me. I realized how much I missed hearing the awkwardness of being the age of middle school kids. I soared when parents shared how happy they were to receive my call, how much better they felt and how supported they felt. But, what made my teacher heart fill to completion was getting emails from several of my new students asking me questions they had and then thanking me for my help.
CULTURE! We haven’t even started our first day together, but our culture’s base has already been laid down.
Our school’s vision is to engage, empower and excite our students to grow and learn. Without a building, through emails, calls and soon via video conferencing and other online tools, they will thrive. They will learn. They will feel supported.
And we will be their school community, doing what we know is best for them. Content, we already knew. Learning new ways to engage, empower and excite our 2020-2021 students is simply a part of being educators. What more we may need to move forward? Well, we will grow together, stronger and our culture will be even better than it’s ever been, no matter what life throws our way.
One of the parts of my classroom that helps me establish our culture reminds my students that they while they are capable of much now, beyond this time and space, they should keep on dreaming and growing.
Dedicated to Blake Revelle, Tara Mahoney and our Amazing Knights Community. Love working with all of you!
Trauma may always be a part of 2020 for many, but with time and healing, it can help make us better.
I am not a trauma specialist, by any means. In fact, this blog post has taken me longer than normal, because trauma can be difficult to face and be even harder to process.
Yet, there’s no doubt that from the onset of the pandemic, trauma indeed has occurred from the impacts of COVID-19, everywhere. Whenever our lives get hit with a negative, unexpected event it typically causes some levels of distress. However, without a way of knowing when this might end or what may still happen, it makes it hard to gauge what more could occur.
Universal trauma began in waves, until the whole world was feeling it.
This concept is often referred to as collective trauma. The Verywell Mind website explains this as “the psychological upheaval that is shared by a group of people who all experience an event. This type of trauma can affect groups of people of any size, including entire nations or societies . . . . The COVID-19 pandemic is a global event that will result in both individual and collective mental health effects. The social and economic impacts remain to be seen, but it is likely there will be long-term societal mental health consequences of the pandemic.”
While I experienced 9/11 living across the water from where the Twin Towers once were, in a town that lost the most amount of people, I now know that what many of us still share since that day is collective trauma. It’s why even as the 19th anniversary of that day will be here in about 8 weeks, those who struggle with PTSD from the experience still feel parts of the impacts associated with what happened. While that catastrophic event is not like this pandemic, the results of it all lasted for what seemed like a very long time after that nightmare of a day.
I admit that every 9/11, I am not fully myself. There’s no intentional desire to relive any of that time. However, living in the midst of the horrors, grief and sadness of what was occurring then, still impacts me every year in various ways.
Likewise, with this pandemic experience it is likely that we will have portions of this time that impact our current society in ways that stay with us. Whether it’s what happened in our nation, or other lands, this world has had aspects that we have shared and those that are unique to America alone.
One example for us is while most other countries have been wearing masks when asked to wear masks, there are people in our country who have attributed wearing or not wearing one as a political statement in connection to our upcoming election. This has caused major cases of anxiety which can lead to further trauma, as potential repercussions of these decisions involve a deadly virus that doesn’t care what our votes will be or who we are.
I hope that mask wearing won’t always be needed by the general public, once it’s safe, but down the road people may wonder why we may struggle when we see a doctor or nurse wearing one. Going to a funeral in the future may trigger thoughts of loved ones who died by the virus and didn’t have a proper farewell. We will universally share certain parts of this time, years after life has moved on to better times.
As protests have occurred in most cities for our fellow Black community members and for the sake of equality, other countries have joined our protests. With racism occurring in many places of this world, there will be some shared universal trauma significance. Here, in our country, it most definitely is felt.
Said by the character Alex Karev, in Shonda Rhimes’ show “Grey’s Anatomy,” this profound quote is a great reminder that while trauma may stay with us, it can also propel us to be a part of creating a better tomorrow.
However, worldwide there will be collective or universal trauma for those of us who have had some level of fear of getting the virus. Being in isolation, may be seen by future generations as some time alone, whereas those who struggled with it now may have traumatic scars from the idea of being alone. Even the situation of life getting turned upside down in a matter of weeks, for us all, is enough to imprint us with some issues we may need to work on overcoming, after life gets more normal.
What we all have been experiencing here in 2020 has been a worldwide pandemic, something that no one has experienced before. That is why my view of the concept is more of a universal trauma. Since our cultures all over the globe are different, there will be parts of this time where the trauma impacted us and not those in other countries. Others, will be ones that relate in many parts of this Earth, universally.
We lost a lot this year and it’s taking its toll on everybody.
Social distancing occurred suddenly and swiftly as we all hunkered down into lockdowns in our homes when the pandemic began. Schools and businesses closed their doors in a hurry, as students adjusted to learning from home, educators shifted to teaching from home and most people were working from home for the safety of all.
Houses of worship closed completely, while their leadership did what they could online or started figuring out how to be online, to connect with those who would normally attend. This left a lot taken from us, nearly all at once.
When in public, social distancing started following a 6 feet apart rule if you had to be around others. We had to learn how to not touch our skin, especially in public. Wearing a mask became a requirement, then a recommendation and lately a back and forth situation depending on government officials and our own choices.
While we’ve had to give up a lot during the pandemic, it has also made us value parts of our lives so much more. When there’s traumatic experiences, there can also be a new awakening.
Not knowing how long this would all last, there was mass panic and hoarding ensued as there were mad rushes at the grocery stores. It’s still difficult to find cleaning supplies, and there was even a shortage on meat and many other items.
Then, we came to realize that our essential workers like medical personnel were in a life and death situation, not only for their patients, but also for themselves and their families. That was soon followed by grocery store workers, who eventually got to wear masks and then have plexiglass shields installed around them for their safety and that of customers.
Suddenly, we not only were worried about our physical health, but our mental health became more prominent.
Life shifted even more drastically, causing further tension for all. If you’re not aware of how much stress got placed on everyone at once, let me jog your memory or help you realize what others have been enduring.
TOO MUCH TOO SOON: We’ve all been there where life may seem like a constant spiral of negatives happening in our lives, but this time everyone else has been experiencing it, too. There weren’t others who could tell you how they got through this before. Others were just as stressed, so why burden them further? Then, there has been the rollercoaster of emotions that didn’t always make sense or didn’t feel typical to our pre-pandemic selves.
STAYING SAFE: We became afraid of touching our faces. Using hand sanitizer and washing our hands became a practice that turned into a neurotic type of habit. Wear a mask? Don’t wear a mask? Stay 6 feet away from everyone, except those in your household. In general, stay away from others, as much as you can. Hope someone who has the virus doesn’t somehow pass it onto you. That’s A LOT!
NO MORE TRADITIONAL CLASSROOMS:Educators, like me, are used to planning way ahead and juggling a lot. We know how to adapt quickly to change and that we may need to protect our students from a person who means us harm and somehow gets into our school building. Then, in a matter of weeks, we all figured out how to still teach the best we could through Internet issues, families and pets all being around at the same time, and not getting to make the same type of connections we value so much with our individual students. Suddenly, we were seeing our students in groups through video chat sessions and hoping we were making positive impacts on them, academically and emotionally.
With each of these dramatic shifts in our lives, and the problems they may have caused, may we come out on the other side with new understanding of ourselves and others, of new ways to do life and learn how to go with the flow better, knowing how much we were truly able to handle.
PARENT TRAP: Parents of school aged children were typically working from home instead of at their normal places of employment, while also needing to support their kids with school and handling the pandemic. Issues with the amount of devices needed to be used at one time, the major slowdown of the Internet nationwide and how to manage it all added to the stress. Then, there were so many decisions to make on behalf of our families, as well as handling living at home with families 24/7, with no clue when the lockdown would end. It wasn’t a matter of lack of love, but more of a HUGE shift in the everyday dynamics that once was.
FOR HOW MUCH LONGER: As the lockdowns happened everywhere, nobody believed it would endure for as long as the pandemic has been lasting. Many hoped it would be over or at least better by summer, so that life felt more normal and there was less anxiety. Living with a hardship is always difficult, but many hardships have an end. Lose a job? When you get hired, life’s on the way up. Many hardships have an end in sight or at least the dreams for when it will come. For many, the fears have risen or rollercoastered as COVID-19 numbers have risen, dropped and risen again. Uncertainty on who to trust, for which information, has been difficult. Remember when you were in the car as a kid and kept asking, “Are we there, yet?” That’s all everyone wants to know, but the one driving is a virus.
Of course, there is far more that people have endured to test our mental health. Buying enough food and supplies. Doing enough for safety of self, loved ones and/or others. Doing too much. Not doing enough. All of the politics that can most definitely be a major nuisance on society, but even more so during an election year while a worldwide pandemic is happening. Then, while the coronavirus would be plenty to have to handle and then some, the Civil Rights Movement took on a much needed resurgence this year when George Floyd became the final straw and protests erupted in nearly every city, while many of us are still fighting for equal rights for all.
SOME TRAUMA CAUSES
Fear is powerful; it’s all a matter of what you choose to do with it.
Fear of getting the coronavirus
Fear of someone you know getting the coronavirus
Fear of a loved one or friend with the virus dying alone, after dropping them off at a hospital
Fear of being asymptomatic and transmitting the virus to others
Fear of a lack of employment, whether you own a business or are an employee
Fear of essential items running out
Fear of making the wrong decisions to stay healthy from the virus
Wear mask vs. don’t wear a mask
Social distance in all circumstances vs. gathering with large groups you trust
Sending children to school, remote learning, a hybrid or homeschool
Returning to your place of employment
Fear of voting for the wrong candidates, knowing how our lives are in their hands should the problems with the virus still exist or worse occurs, in the future
Fear of losing more parts of what was once normal life
Fear of the unknown
These causes are from what I’ve experienced, known others to experience and/or have read or watched information about how others have been responding. By no means is this an exhaustive list of sources for the trauma.
The one aspect that you have probably deduced by now is that fear is the major cause of the universal trauma most are experiencing on some levels right now.
PROS and CONS
Fear can help us or cause harm. During all that 2020 has changed in our lives, it means understanding the power of how fear works in us, for the sake of taking care of ourselves the best way we can. With all of the the possible causes of trauma, how our bodies are reacting, plays a huge role in our lives.
As Adventure Collectionreminds us, that fear can keep us safe, as “fear acts as an internal danger alarm. It compels you to action and helps you make wise and prudent decisions. Without fear, you wouldn’t live very long because you wouldn’t be aware of or care about the threats around you.”
It is good to know that fear of what could threaten us, during these times, can help us to make the best decisions for ourselves and those we love. However, fear often can get out of control when there are so many avenues for fear and so many others feeling it around us. Social media has added another dimension to how often those worries or panic can stare us in the face.
HOW TO HANDLE THIS
A good starting point, always, is to talk to someone you trust so you’re not keeping all of that trauma and possible fear inside of you as you try to appear strong. The CDC has some great help to know when and who to turn to, if you need more guidance or help.
To find how you can help your mental health feel better, I suggest:
Talk About Mental Health: In case you’ve only ever considered your physical health only, know that our thoughts, emotions and a lot of our physical health within us is impacted by our mental health. When mental health isn’t managed well, it can cause responses within our physical wellbeing. What could it hurt to learn more helpful tips for yourself or for those you know and love?
Coping with Stress: There is a lot of options offered here, as well, after some more in depth explanations of what you might be feeling due to the pandemic.
As the CDC shares, “You may experience increased stress during this pandemic. Fear and anxiety can be overwhelming and cause strong emotions.” It’s often hard to figure out when fear is helping us or hurting us. Don’t go it alone.
THERE IS HOPE
Just like in the 1930s Depression, universal trauma was felt by those who experienced those hardships, but so have their descendants in certain ways. It’s why my parents’ generation, who were raised by parents who lived during the Depression, made us eat all of our food. Their parents lived in fear of not having enough.
However, as any situation in life that impacts us on a major scale like this, there is hope. We know that it won’t last forever. While at times we may worry that this time will never end. It will. Life has shown us that, as well.
We have so many resources to help us through it:
Medical people and scientists are working tirelessly to protect us from COVID-19, and possible cures appear to be working. Just type the possibilities into your Internet search to see for yourself.
People have adapted their lives, because we want to survive. Never underestimate the power of the human spirit.
We have mental health professionals who can literally help us through managing what we are experiencing, both online and in person.
If you’re a person of faith, as I am, you know that God is with you, the Bible is full of God’s promises and truth to rely on, and your minister, pastor or priest along with those who share that faith with you, can be a source of comfort, help and support.
Ultimately, while varying levels of trauma may have already occurred in your life or may come, before this time in our lives moves on, I truly have faith in the strength of who we are as human beings. As long as we do all we can to stay safe, make the best choices for our lives and take care of our minds, bodies and spirits, we may very well look back at 2020 seeing it as the year that made us the strongest versions of ourselves.
While we may have lost much in this year, already, I anticipate a greater future for us all. If you’ve experienced trauma, know that many of us have, providing us all with so many more people to grow with and learn from, once this part of our lives is behind us.
As the realities of life happen, I for one, will never stop dreaming, and I will work daily to make those dreams come true.
Don’t stop having hopes for the future. One of my favorite poets, Langston Hughes, impacted me to dream and to never let go. He inspired me as a young girl greatly, to this day. Coupled with my faith in God, this Bible verse is one I have reminded myself of again and again. May you find comfort in both the poem and words of the Lord. As it says in Jeremiah 29:11, God tells us, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” May this time of trauma propel each of us to pursue our dreams with a passion.
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The Kansas City Metro Area is known for its sense of community. Our strong commitment to our sports teams, to festivals, to the arts, and even to how KC rallies together to support worthy causes. What is a huge population of people on both sides of State Line can often feel like one amazingly beautiful community.
It’s hard to believe that on February 2, 2020 our Kansas City Chiefs won the Super Bowl, fifty years their last championship win. Don’t get me wrong. I was in full-fledged, “Let’s go Chiefs!” mode. However, since that day and the parade that came after, life quickly changed worldwide.
Think back to the start of 2020, when the holidays were over and people felt generally hopeful, as often happens during each new year.
Kansas City Chiefs’ Quarterback Patrick Mahomes volunteering for a local community cause in the fall of 2018.
Live in Kansas City for even a short while and you see pretty fast how much community matters to those who live here. As this year began, the entire area was a constant sea of red as everyone seemed to wear Chiefs’ clothes on most days, and not just on the traditional Chiefs’ Fridays that are typical all football season long, in Kansas City.
Our renowned KC fountains and statues were decorated to show our pride for our team. Chiefs’ flags on homes and vehicles were seen flying everywhere. Even the school where I work had an entire Spirit Week leading up to that important date, as we also showed community support.
That’s community. We came together in force, as a group. We showed the nation and our team that we were all in this together.
When trouble came, our community still acted as one.
Then, nearly 6 weeks after the huge national win, our state and much of the nation was in a lockdown for our lives. Coronavirus hit, rattling every community across America, just as it had in lands all over the globe. Yet, community still remained.
While it physically appeared more like a ghost town atmosphere, with everywhere hunkered down as best as possible and stayed indoors. Businesses of all types found ways to help their employees to work from home or close temporarily. Schools shifted, within a short matter of weeks to teaching remotely for the remainder of the year. All for the cause of community, maintaining as much as we could of the area we love even if we had to operate differently, to save as many of us as possible from the horrible virus.
As restaurants were allowed to remain open with curbside pick up, we formed groups on social media to pull together for these beloved businesses to keep them running. For example, a family owned Mexican restaurant was happily overwhelmed by their already loyal clientele and a plethora of new ones who came in droves to make sure they would still remain when this was all over. From their Facebook page video, it was clear that they felt our love.
While places like the hair salon I use had to stay closed for weeks, clients bought hair products and gift cards that were sent to our homes, to help show our loyalty to the amazing owners and staff in a great variety of ways. Moments like this happened again and again all over the Kansas City area. They knew we were here for them, as they have always been for us.
When we got on the other side of fighting COVID-19, it was clear that our community wanted to not lose what makes us who we are, as much as possible.
We all need a sense of community; it’s ingrained in who we are.
Before a child leaves the womb, parents often find ways to celebrate the upcoming arrival of their new family member. They talk to the baby and get a room, as their family community grows. It’s important that the newborn feels like a part of them right from the start.
From the time shortly after birth we have a tendency to reach out to connect with others. It’s why a newborn holds out their finger and whoever witnesses it takes a hold. It is part of who we are deep within; we want to belong and find acceptance among other human beings.
Our first community is typically our family unit. Even God noticed after making the first man that it wasn’t good for him to be alone. Through that experience, we meet other people in life and continue wanting a sense of belonging, when family isn’t always with us.
With each encounter with others, we naturally look for those who might bond with us. Some of these moments are simply a part of life, such as attending school, while others happen by what appears to be just a matter of circumstances.
Thus, we make connections with people again and again from childhood through the adult years, becoming a part of even more community groups. Friendships, peer groups at work or school, clubs/interest groups, sports and places of worship are just some of the communities in which people normally find themselves. No matter which community you’re a part of, one thing is very true of them all.
The human experience cannot fully be embraced unless we connect with others.
The pandemic made many of us feel a lack of that sense of community dynamic. Thankfully, people are highly adept at being resilient and adaptable as needed to keep community with others.
As each family member is born into it, the family tree grows into a community of individuals tied together through blood, marriage and choice. With dedication and work, each member will also choose to become members of other community groups, as new connections are made which will benefit them in their life journeys.
Just like the newborn scenario above, most people formed stronger bonds with their family unit first. So, it makes sense that as the family unit we are living with during the pandemic spends much more time together, the connections established earlier became reignited in many households. The isolation times have allowed many to reconnect in a variety of ways to help us all to continue managing this unusual time together.
As the pandemic began, there was a sense of global loss of the communities we so often relied upon, in our lives.
Times with colleagues, friends, family who are not living in the same home and so many other groups of communities suddenly were cut off from us. At least it seemed that way, at first.
Though many have had family members, roommates, etc. within their homes during the pandemic, the desire to stay connected to those we have bonded with in other parts of lives caused many to feel a sense of grief. Especially not knowing how long it would be till we all could reconnect again.
To cope with that sense of isolation, once again, resiliency of the human spirit prevailed. Most found ways to show how important community is in our lives.
One of the most well known examples of this deep need for community is this video from Italy that went viral, one of the hardest hit in the world when COVID-19 began attacking with a vengeance.
Even if they couldn’t see one another or be near each other, many of Italy’s people maintained the sense of community as they joined together from their windows or balconies, singing a song that connected them all to one another. It was a beautiful and powerful way to not feel so alone as they collectively went through the trauma of what COVID-19 did to their nation, while feeling determined to get through it as a nation.
Then, as the medical communities everywhere became the heroes fighting tirelessly to save as many as possible from the awful coronavirus as possible, that sense of connection turned into moments like this:
Our medical workers have been working so hard, literally putting themselves in danger like never before, as they’ve endured seeing way too many patients die and becoming heartbroken over loved ones not getting to connect with those who wouldn’t be returning home to them. Meanwhile, the vast majority have remained separated from their families even as I type this blog, out of fear of transmitting COVID-19 to them. So, city after city across America joined forces, without jeodpordizing one another, to let them know their communities are forever grateful and that they matter.
This is why, even though there wasn’t a lot of time, schools quickly adapted to online or remote teaching for students. It wasn’t for safety and academic purposes alone, but it was also for the social aspect of students and teachers interacting and maintaining the connections made over three quarters of the school year. Normally, the last quarter of a school year is when the classroom dynamics of community are at their strongest, so the educational communities everywhere rallied together, as always.
Employees who shifted to working from from home maintained their communities through online meetings. This often shifted into having virtual bonding moments, such as eating lunch together via their screens. Many companies even had traditional or not so traditional versions of Happy Hours to help with the isolation.
I have even done my walks/jogs with others doing the same, as we spoke via bluetooth.
Whether a church is in Oklahoma or New York, people across the globe can connect via church online.
Churches and other houses of worship have even gone online during these times. Some already had services viewable online before the coronavirus, while others have come to realize the importance of it as they quickly worked out ways to go virtual.
As one of the largest community groups worldwide, many of us have found solace in still getting to worship together through our screens. Personally, having that regular part of my community has been a great source of comfort, wisdom and normalcy, praising God, hearing from the pastors and still having opportunities to connect during the week.
Clearly, we may not have the same sense of community now, as we have had in the past, but we have found ways to adapt.
With the family who haven’t been able to safely come together, people have gotten creative. Suddenly, everyone used the gift of video chatting in all its forms to continue those associations with one another with chatting face to face on screens, scheduling times to eat meals in their individual place at the same time, watching one show in their individual homes while chatting and reacting together, and even continuing or starting game nights together.
As a teacher, even with us on summer break, many of us have also stayed connected in some of the above ways. Since most educators are relational people, and with so much up in the air for the new school year, we have reconnected quite a bit. From video chatting to catching up and discussing, to forming groups via social media, to even organizing ourselves to drive to a location, gather and drive by another colleague’s home to wish them a happy birthday, social distancing style we have found our ways.
We all simply crave the need of remaining connected, even if it occurs in what was once unconventional ways.
Waving before leaving a chat has become one noticeable adaptation from the pandemic on video chats with others.Experts explain on a CNN article that “as video calling becomes a default way of communicating during the pandemic, people adjust and adapt their behaviors accordingly — plus they’re craving more of a human connection.”
Not knowing how long the pandemic will continue, and as areas of our country have been phasing in re-openings of businesses, stores and restaurants, allowing more interaction outside homes, it is clear that we will find ways to connect. Why is that?
Communities have traditions that people don’t want to miss.
While schools were in session online, many had Spirit Weeks for when they met with their peers and teachers. Churches have continued finding ways to give to those in need. In our state, many outdoor team sports were allowed with social distancing requirements in place.
The author of this blog has even adjusted to doing multiple virtual races with a community of others all over America.
However, concerts, festivals and in many areas even 4th of July fireworks got cancelled. Those used to doing yearly athletic type of competitions, like 5Ks and 10Ks got cancelled, if they couldn’t operate in a virtual manner.
Even our national sports have adapted. In mid-March, the NLB cancelled the rest of the season. While normally the MLB teams would be playing as usual during this time, they have even changed how they’ve trained, shifted their game schedules and they will likely play to empty stadiums, unless it can be worked out to have some fans join them to cheer when it’s safer.
So much has changed that we have always counted on, in our lives.
In the summer, with people normally traveling or going out locally for fun, the shutdown of Broadway and all things theater nationwide, as with movie theaters, has been just a part of traditions many have missed enjoying. Many vacation spots may open, it can’t be business as usual.
How have we transitioned, as a community?
Suddenly, all of the streaming services added shows and movies sooner than originally planned. Hamilton, the musical, went on Disney+ to bring one of their former Broadway performances to the masses.
Fire pits were a popular add-on to families’ lives as we mostly stayed home, rather than travel during a pandemic.
Families all over the country took money they would have used to possibly travel, to redo their backyards in ways they hadn’t originally planned, to make oases of their own at home. With fire pits to talk around a cozy fire in the evenings and maybe make some s’mores, trampolines to allow children to have fun outdoors safely, and even getting pools from the kiddie type to ones large enough for the whole family, it has made months of being at home better to handle during the hot summer months.
An added bonus to this has been the continued bonding time provided to families, as they bond in ways they’ve enjoyed in the past or by making new traditions.
This couple thought they had to postpone their wedding, until the new online show SOME GOOD NEWS got a little help from their most favorite show’s actors.
One of the largest traditions that caused many people a lot of grief was the loss of their scheduled dates for weddings, proms, graduations and so much more.
That’s until actor John Krasinski started a new phenomenon of a show called SOME GOOD NEWS, using Facebook. There were so many viewers that he had to change to YouTube. People all over the world ended up feeling more connected as they watched famous people connecting with everyday people in a way never done before.
It brought a sense of happiness for many who were struggling with sadness and fear. It was something everyone could watch, and watch they did!
Seeing a heartbroken couple getting married with loved ones included was an amazing moment to witness. Sending an invite to a virtual prom caused major glitches with the show starting later than planned, as John Krasinski found a way to handle the overload of virtual prom attendees and viewers all over the nation. There was even a graduation for all of those feeling the deep loss of milestone traditions. These new way of connecting, and providing what others needed, made a huge difference in the lives of many. That’s community!
Communities are needed more than ever as we continue the fight against COVID-19.
Communities encourage one another. As family and friends have had to face getting tested for the coronavirus, the first thing most have done is reach out to their community of humans. One of my dear friends kept me in the loop from the time she found out she might be infected until the negative response was received. Those going through this need the support, as they face the fear of the what-if.
Communities care about and support one another. Likewise, as people we know have died, potentially without any way to communicate with those they love like I’ve gone through more than once, we need our “people” more than ever before.
The encouragement received was overwhelming and needed. From cards, flowers, and more sent to us, to texts, calls, and video chats with those I know all over the country, each of them were a powerful source of love to us as we knew there was no way to get together and say goodbye to the ones we had lost.
Communities provide a place to belong. From those in our homes, to the towns and cities we live in, to a large group of communities that exist, it helps us to know that while our experiences are different, we are in this together. We are not alone.
A true and healthy communityis diverse, but united.
I hope that you have your own community or communities, but if not, may this blog post help encourage you to reach out to others during these times. We live in this world together. During a crisis that has literally impacted our world, community is so important.
A good community makes you a better person, provides balance, as well as genuine bonds through the good and the bad times. Feel free to check out these great tips on 10 Traits That Make a Good Community for more ideas of how to know if a community might be good for you.
My best example of the power of community is Jesus when he walked this Earth. Even those who don’t profess faith in Jesus Christ know that He had 12 disciples. His relationship with these twelve men show that as a group there were many differences among them. However, they supported one another. They defended each other. They cared about each other. While Jesus ministered to others, He didn’t do it alone.
As Coretta Scott King said, “The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members.”
Don’t do life on your own, especially now. Rather than embracing the fear of the unknown, hold fast to those connections to others that are making us all stronger individually and together, through this worldwide collective experience.
May we leave a legacy we can be proud of, of communities that knew or learned how to stand together for the greater good of us all.
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We can all relate to having an emotional attachment to something or someone and noticing that attachment everywhere. For example, a child wants a dog and is trying desperately to convince their parents to get them one. So, they seem to become obsessed, noticing every dog that shows up on the shows they watch and the ones they see in public.
Were there suddenly more dogs around? Not likely. The child simply has their emotions tied up strongly to their desire for a dog.
With couples, ideas of children and parenthood are common. Maybe they are trying to have their first child. Maybe they’re waiting for a birth mother to choose them as the adoptive parents. Perhaps, the couple isn’t ready for a child yet or at all, but others are pressuring them with questions of when they will have a baby. Whatever the situation, the said couple cannot seem to help but notice pregnant women everywhere or couples interacting with their child/children.
Why? The emotions of the couple are wrapped up on a strong desire to become parents or to remain childless. Either way, situations like these are usually full of emotional reactions.
Selective Attention or Attentional Control are why our emotions can cause our bodies to react this way. Essentially, each day we are overloaded with so many things to occupy our attention.
Imagine you’re walking your dog through the neighborhood. You notice the houses you’re passing by, the way the sky looks, the joggers and cyclists, the sound of kids laughing in a yard somewhere and for some reason, you happen to zone in on one person sitting outside their home looking sad.
Why? Normally, our mind will choose to gravitate to where our emotions are, when too much is around us to focus our thoughts.
It’s likely that a source of sadness that you’ve experienced during the pandemic caused your emotions to pay more attention to the sad person, since you could relate.
Emotions have power.
Take the same scenario of walking the dog above, only instead of a dog you are walking through the neighborhood with your early elementary school aged child. While you go through the same walk, your child who is aware that the pandemic has changed life but doesn’t fully understand it strongly enough as an adult, gravitates to the laughter of kids in a yard.
Your child then says, “Hey, hear that?! When we get back home, can you run through the sprinklers with me? Wouldn’t that be fun?!”
What’s the difference? Whether we are an adult or a child, we have power to control which thoughts and emotions to concentrate on more rather than allowing our emotions and thoughts to empower us in a negative way.
Maybe you’ve gotten the coronavirus or possibly, you’ve lost loved one during these times.
Perhaps you are a person of color, as I am, and your heart, mind and soul keeps breaking over all of the injustices that are still occurring.
You may have felt inadequate in one of your roles at work, home, or in any area trying to navigate the new ways of life since the pandemic became more real for our country.
There may be exhaustion setting in, as you haven’t had a break or vacation for far too long and all you want is some way to temporarily escape and have some fun for a while, but it isn’t possible.
I can go on with a myriad of scenarios that can apply to just about anyone, but the point is that mental health is super important and you have a good deal of power to stay mentally healthy.
This video is Renée Elise Goldsberry from the musical Hamilton, as performed on Broadway and more recently shown on Disney+. Watch this brief video explaining the concept of the power you have within you.
Emotions can lead our thoughts astray or steer us onto the best paths.
That one minute video says a lot. The creator of that musical who also played the main character of Alexander Hamilton, Lin-Manuel Miranda, shows this very clearly. In a nutshell, Hamilton was a minority having been born and raised on the island of St. Kitts. He arrived in what would be America, an orphan with nothing, who had also witnessed his own mother’s death. Yet, he saw all of the pain of what was happening in this land and asked himself the questions referred to in the video above.
Rather, Alexander Hamilton said POWERFUL statements like the following:
He could have given into so many negative emotions, wasting away his life and just survive.
He could easily have said, “What’s the use? This is too much. I’m just one person. I don’t even have any family with me.”
Instead, he saw that he was alive, intelligent and resourceful and chose to seize the moments being given to him. To stay focused on the positive emotions that were telling him, “Go for it!”
You can gain control.
I don’t know your situation, but we all have the power to take the reins of our emotions and thoughts, which while clearly different are also heavily intertwined, and decide what will have power in us. Even during a worldwide pandemic that is still shaking up people’s lives, this holds true.
As Galatians 5:22-23 reminds us, we can have these as our points of focus. They can change even the worst of situations:
Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-Control
Use your emotions to be the best you.
Hamilton Theme
Two major themes of both the musical and of the good that many have done during the pandemic is this concept.
As a Puerto Rican Christian woman, a wife, a mother, a teacher, a business owner, I know that my life impacts others. During these times, our lives’ impacts matter all the more.
Whether we like it or not, we are living a part of history. People will look back on these times we are living to see how we handled them. What will they learn from us?
Hamilton Theme
We can be complainers or encouragers.
We can be hopeless or hopeful.
We can be bystanders or world changers.
We can be blind to reality or stand up for those who need us.
None of the above are easy, but it’s up to each of us to rise up!
You’ve got the power!
Maybe you have been already been managing your emotions fairly well. I’m proud of you! That isn’t easy when life is full of so many unknowns.
Alexander Hamilton (in the musical) makes this powerful statement.
Possibly, you may have reached this point and wish you had maintained your emotions better than you did. Or you may think you haven’t done enough to help yourself and/or others.
The great fact is that you have power. You truly do!
Moving forward there are still many ways to shift your emotions for your well being and that of those around you. It’s not too late.
And know that this doesn’t mean that you can’t have negative emotions. They are just as important to have at certain moments, as long as they are not where you remain.
With so much ahead of us to accomplish as a people, living in times that are not ones any of us have lived through before, our mental health matters very much.
If you’re looking for reasons to be scared, you’ll find them.
If you’re looking for reasons to be mad, you’ll find them.
If you’re looking for reasons to be encouraged, you’ll find them.
If you’re looking for reasons to be grateful, you’ll find them.
If you’re looking for reasons to be confident, you’ll find them.
If you’re looking for reasons to be pessimistic about the future, you’ll find them.
If you’re looking for reasons to be optimistic about the future, you’ll find them.
If you are looking for a reason to be x, you will probably find it.
YOU have the power. YOU can decide. YOU can act. YOU can make the journey better.
Life is yours, so don’t lose focus.
For me, I find this a great source of help as I journey through life, no matter what happens.
Whether you believe in God or not, the concepts of this Bible verse still has powerful truths.
Focus on what you are thankful for.
Focus on speaking praise to those who deserve it and need it.
Focus on good when life gets bad; balance is good.
Focus on love. Those you love and those who love you.
Focus on holding on to faith, to believe in what you can’t see knowing that it’s coming, for this generation and for all the ones that will follow us.
Hope is powerful! Though life is hard and often can be VERY HARD, we humans are quite resilient and resourceful.
While New York City still has the most amount of victims of COVID-19 in our nation, and there is still a world of pain there, take solace in this video and maybe find a song of your own that makes you happy and fills you with hope. Then, go and do all you can to make this world a better place.
One hundred churches in the NYC Metro Area participated in the making of this amazing video, including my friend Efren Seldura.
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As a teacher, this summer break has been very different. Before the summer of 2020, summer has often included times of fun with others, a possible vacation away, and moments to relax, refresh and rejuvenate after a school year of teaching. It meant more carefree times. Instead, at least for my family, we have been largely isolated to do our best to stay safe from COVID-19.
Our schools were only three days into Spring Break, before the nation was essentially locked down. Life, as we had known it, had changed and it felt like someone had kicked our collective knees out from under us. We knew the virus had impacted the eastern part of the world, but too many of us believed or hoped that it would never land here.
Suddenly, we all began to feel unsteady.
Within two weeks, we shifted from traditional learning within school buildings to teaching and learning remotely online from the youngest of students in elementary school through colleges and universities. Educators, students and families all had to shift accordingly.
Businesses, of all types, began closing down. Those who were fortunate enough were able to shift into working from home. Food and supplies became scarce in stores, as hysteria appeared to take over and people began buying in large quantities with the intentions of hoarding. Medical workers and grocery store workers became heroes, but they also were getting put at great risk, even with governments setting up mandatory face mask wearing protocols when out in public.
Without knowing what the future held, as a worldwide pandemic made it to our hemisphere, fear set in among our citizens, right here in America.
The virus changed our world, and we didn’t know what would shift next.
Prior to the official start of summer, I lost my mother and my grandmother in a matter of two weeks due to COVID-19, each having died in two different states while I was in a completely other state. There would be no time to gather with others to console one another. There would be no memorials or funerals, with hopes for the ability to do this in the future. This would follow about a month later with the loss of my father-in-law and us joining the memorial virtually.
Losses like this are HUGE under normal circumstances. This time though, we couldn’t count on the typical traditions we would typically count on during times like this, ones that often help to bring us comfort and support.
One thing I learned during those times, and as I continue to learn as we move forward, is that the virus has most definitely changed the world and how we are living. However, there are still constants that exist, in spite of the virus, ones I knew I could depend on strongly for the comfort and support I needed.
In my own home, my immediate family (both human and animal) were able to listen and help us process. They were able to provide hugs when we broke down in grief. When needed, they stayed near when all we could do was just sit quietly and allow ourselves to feel, think, and remember without any interference.
The virus changed our world, BUT FAMILY rallied together.
The gift of technology proved to play a huge part in helping us through the healing. We were able to spend time talking or texting on our phones, and more importantly video chatting with the rest of our family no matter where we each live in the country. In a time of isolation from most, this was a HUGE comfort and helped us to process further with those who also knew these important members of our lives. We felt like we could stand more steadily, after that.
As our entire life largely shifted to staying at homes and outside on our properties, many great and unexpected changes began to happen. This wasn’t just in our home, but also in the homes of many families’ living all over the country. Life began to slow down for most of us. We were having more time together, to engage more with one another, to make have actual home cooked meals more regularly and together, and our pets loved having us around more.
The need for using apps, like Zoom, caused many to catch up and stay more in touch with family and friends whether they lived a few houses down or across the country or globe. It appeared the gift of time had helped us remember that who is in our lives matter more than what is in our lives.
Life wasn’t entirely what we knew, and like most of you, I needed to find a firmer place to stand with so many unknowns ahead.
You see, way before COVID-19 ever emerged, my biggest comfort and support was one I was already very familiar with and one that had never let me down, even in the toughest of times . . . GOD.
I look up to the mountains—does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth! He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps. The Lord himself watches over you!The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever. – PSALM 121:1-8
From the first time I ever knew troubled times existed in life, and every time since, God has been there. He was the One who has always held me close when I’ve cried out to Him. He was the One who has let me scream at Him when I have been frustrated or angry. He was the One who brought the perfect people to me, at just the right moments when I needed them. He was the One who reminded me of so many truths that not only have lasted the test of time through centuries, but have lasted the test of time in my own life from a very young age.
Getting my legs back didn’t change a lot of what was out of my control, but it helped me stand so much stronger.
I found myself using the time that was now freed up to talk with God a lot more. The ability to pray to the One who knows far more than any human ever could know, provided me with immense peace.
This peace was with me when my mother was in the hospital for over a week, without knowing what the outcome would be. It was with me on the morning of Mother’s Day when I learned of my grandmother’s death and soon followed by my father-in-law. It stayed with me as I did all I could to teach from my home, in a way that was not how any of us expected to finish the final quarter of the year that I was still reaching and supporting my students. That peace reminded me to trust my Lord and those He put in my life.
This peace was with me, anytime fear rose up over the unknowns of living life with the coronavirus now in it. Remembering Bible verses were a source of strength and peace. Having the luxury to read the Bible for longer periods of time provided me with peace like even my favorite novel cannot do. Talking and listening to God, in prayer, however and whenever I needed has kept me standing strong.
The virus changed our world, BUT GOD has never changed.
Little would any of us know that life would still have curveballs to throw at us. While my faith is usually strong, it doesn’t mean I don’t feel afraid. Every human does. With 24/7 news and social media providing continuous information and misinformation, along with photos and/or videos, faith has been the key to my mind, heart and soul remaining tethered through it all.
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,”he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,”he said, “why did you doubt?” – MATTHEW 14:28-31
There’s a part in the Bible, in Matthew 14, when Jesus sends His disciples to get into a boat while He dispersed the crowd of people they just finished miraculously providing for with food none of them had. Imagine the fear of hundreds of people not knowing when their next meal would be. Yet, Jesus provided for their needs and probably saved so many lives that day. He also increased the people’s faith that God saw them, God knew what they needed and God could provide.
Then, those disciples got into the boat knowing Jesus would catch up with them. After just seeing the miracle of food simply appearing in their baskets to give out until every mouth was fed, it was clear that had God seen them, God knew what they needed and God provided. Then, rather than waiting to catch up with the disciples on the other side or by following in another boat, Jesus was standing on the lake water itself and asking Peter to trust Him and walk to Him, on that lake.
What does this have to do with the coronavirus?
That moment has everything to do with the pandemic that we are still living with, in our nation and across the globe. Peter took initial steps of faith in Jesus Christ as he began to walk towards Him, but then suddenly, the human he was saw the wind blowing and his eyes went off Jesus and most likely looked at the water as he freaked out and cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Even then, the Lord saw what happened, saw the need and provided. Jesus reached out His hand and caught Peter. He knew Peter had faith, but like us, Peter also struggled during times of “rough waters”.
We have moments when we feel more at peace, as though God or even humans, have life more in control. We feel completely comforted and in full faith that life will work out and there’s no need to worry.
Then, we see the numbers rising again of those testing positive for the virus. We see that the new school year is right around the corner and worry as an educator, as a parent or loved one of a school age person or as all of the above. Masks are required to be worn again and some businesses have to close temporarily again, while others do so for good, not being able to handle the lack of money anymore. Events that were looked forward to get cancelled and sports are making major changes, as well.
We read, hear, or see all of that. Then, we have moments when even though we are still alive and may even have what we need, we feel our faith dropping. Like Peter, as changes continue to occur through these times, and we feel the wind moving and the water beneath our feet, we realize that while we may have faith, we also feel better feeling and touching the realities we are used to around us.
The virus is not greater than God.
This is why talking and listening to God, reading His Word for instruction, for guidance, for assurance, for wisdom, for how to handle whatever comes in life is so vastly important.
God is always with us, whether we acknowledge His existence or not. He sees us. He knows what we need. He provides.
His provision may not always make sense to us, like when Thomas the disciple saw Jesus alive again, after His resurrection, and needed further physical proof it was Him. Then after some time of rejoicing over His return, those who had seen Him after rising from the dead, soon came to realize that Jesus had to return to the Father. Imagine the immense confusion and hurt that brought on, not knowing when they would see Him again. Yet, their stories continue on with greater moments of faith that changed the lives of so many people in the world for His glory.
As it indicated in this Bible verse, we are truly blessed when we have faith, belief in God, when we cannot physically see His presence before us.
Why? Because, God knew that this pandemic would occur. He knew that we would be afraid at times, whether we have faith in Him or varying degrees of faith in Him, at times.
YET . . . GOD is far greater than anything life throws our way, even the coronavirus.
The virus doesn’t take away our faith.
For those of you who struggle to have any faith in God at all, the amazing fact is that we all have faith in something or someone at different points in life. While each of us continue to live our lives as best we can, He still sees us, knows what we need and provides for us.
When the dark news related to the coronavirus interferes with our lives, we continue to keep looking for the light. Most humans can’t seem to help it.
No matter what unknowns will come our way, pandemic or not, don’t give up. Have faith. It helps us to stand firmer, to keep going and to remember that better times will come.
The light exists and will always outshine the darkness.
Stay tune for the next part of this blog series. Keep the faith.
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Feeling lead to type this to whoever is meant to read it. I feel like the Lord is testing His people with the fact that coronavirus has caused across the globe. How? He wants us to remain vigilant in the hope we must always hold onto, remember that our hope is in the Lord. He loves. He sees. He is working.
He wants His people to pray on behalf of humanity and believe that He knows what He’s doing. While yes, there is sickness and death, the true harm is the fear. He says to us, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ” – John 14:37
The enemy wants fear to spread like wildfire. Sound familiar? It has indeed been doing so, worldwide. Humans fear the unknown. That’s normal. We are finite, but God is infinite.
We need to trust Him. We need to trust the medical community. We need to get more comfortable with the unknown, because unknowns are not going to go away.
They’re all around us. But, look around. We still love. We still live. We still connect with people, with life and we keep going. It’s who we are.
Hope lives. Yes, fear is real, but hope and love is what has always made situations better and made us finite beings better.
When we don’t have the wisdom we want so badly, like when we were children, we must trust those who know more, who have the wisdom we don’t have.
As 1 Corinthians 13:13 tells us, “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”
When fear seems to overtake us, these are some words from the Bible that have often helped me:
• Psalm 91
• Ephesians 6: 11-17
• 1 Corinthians 13
For those who doubt God’s existence or anything about Him, we’ve all at least experienced unknowns in our life that have scared us immensely. Many of us have also come out on the other side of those experiences.
Stay hopeful. Trust those who know more than we know. Then, breathe and remember you’re alive. Alive for a reason and live.
As often as the clouds come and can seem to overcome the beautiful blue sky we want to see, we tend to try and focus on the blue breaks in the clouds. That’s hope. That’s what keeps us hanging on, when the clouds cause us to only see dark skies. Hanging on to the truth that the clouds (or the fear) will disperse and that the sky (hope) will appear fully again is belief, belief that life will be good again. It’s not that we don’t see the clouds. It’s that we refuse to give in to them. Hope. Photo By Rachel Basden
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Rachel's Reflections 