The storm was coming As clouds grew dark And ominous shadows Played games with our hearts.
As the procession came With a mix of anger and cries And our dear Lord Carried the world in His eyes.
As His surroundings Seemed to melt away All He could see Were the souls who’d be saved.
While others shrieked and agonized Knowing our Lord would soon die He bore on with single purpose For the sake of our lives.
All around us Many cheered As the Son of God Slowly drew near.
We could not believe That this was the end But in the depths of His heart He saw amber dawn ahead.
Hours moved on In a sickenly . . . slowness While He bore the pain That rightly belonged to us.
As all we could see Was the darkness and pain Yet, His eyes showed no doubt Amber dawn would rise again.
While the pains of the moment Were clouding our hearts We simply couldn’t bear That from us He must part.
As the thunder roared And the curtain was split In the depths of our souls We knew this was it.
The time had come As the very earth shuttered And we heard from His lips The last words He would utter.
Before darkness descended Both around and within How could we know That amber dawn would rise again?
And on that third day While we were unaware Amber dawn began to rise Swiftly filling the air Bringing with it The hope of a new day As our Savior arose Taking the darkness away.
For the light of the amber dawn Had become increasingly bright As it ushered in the Lord And Savior of our lives.
Now never again Would we need to live in fear For amber dawn would remind us That He is always near.
If 2020-2021 has taught me anything it has most taught me the necessity to relax. With so much happening that none of us were expecting, I learned to value time with those I love, respect and enjoy being around.
It’s also so important to enjoy some time with yourself doing what brings you joy.
I learned that some things I once viewed as necessary may not have been so important. This also helped me to find more balance in my life, with personal life, work life and my spiritual life. When one part overwhelms the others exponentially, the equation of our lives can lose focus.
Our ways to balance life will not always look the same, but finding the right balance is vital.
Spending time doing nothing, alone or with others, is not a waste of time. I have found a lot of calmness, peace and time to think more clearly in those moments. Relaxing is not a bad use of time. It provides us with more time.
Taking a break when the weather is especially nice, just because you can.
Laughing, dancing and talking with friends and/or family are some of the best forms of relaxing that I’ve experienced over this past summer. Finding who you need in life helps us to stay healthy, happy and living the lives we are meant to live. It also helps to keep us accountable.
Find your people and relax together just as strongly as you support one another in the other portions of your lives.
Relaxing definitely looks different at various times and can be very different for each of us, but it is so crucial to our mental health. While we should all take care of our physical bodies, this past year has taught us so much of the importance of mental health for all of us. No one is one dimensional. We are multifaceted for a reason.
Whether it’s time to relax or time to work, stay persistent in living a life of balance.
If you need more balance, make it happen. Value yourself. Value others. Make it happen. You may need to start small, or you may be able to drastically change your life immediately, but whatever you do . . . relax.
If you need someone to tell you, it’s a gift to yourself and others when you spend time relaxing. Life is too short, and we all need time to enjoy as much of it as we possibly can.
So often, we humans can focus too much on the negatives of life, because they dare to tear us down.
We are thrilled when good things happen in our lives, but we also cling to wanting our lives to be full of good times and peace. While we realistically know that the bad moments are also a part of life, we can’t help but want to avoid the pain that comes along with those times.
“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” – John 10:10
Every time I read this passage, I’m reminded of God’s mercy to us. Let me explain.
I spent many years of my life with asthma. At times, it was so debilitating. More than once, I came near death. I’ll never forget being asked by a paramedic, weeks after a massive asthma attack who not only treated me, but knew me, “I didn’t want to tell you this in the middle of helping you, but there’s still one thing I don’t understand. On that day, we couldn’t figure out how you were awake, how you were communicating with us [I used body language to get them to give me paper & pen to do this.], how you were even alive. How did you do that?”
I wasn’t certain what he wasn’t telling me, so after asking him what was so unusual about that, he replied, “Everything we had you hooked up to, every one of them showed your oxygen levels were at zero. Not only should you not have been able to communicate with us, but all signs pointed to the fact that you should not have even been conscious, let alone alive!”
That’s when I answered him with, “Well, let me tell you more of my story and my God.” Without Him, without my Lord, that miraculous situation never would have happened. While I don’t know why God used that health situation to occur, my life with Him has shown me over and over and over again, that He is good, that He is love and that His plans are always for our good. I give God glory for using me, even in that time, to touch the life and soul of another for Him.
Something that could have killed me, gave me an even stronger appreciation for being alive.
Since last March, it’s been even harder to avoid the negatives of life. Having lost loved ones and having seen so much grief on various fronts, I am all the more grateful for God who has never left my side. I say all of this as a known optimist, but I am also not naive and have had many situations throughout life that have dared to tear me down many times.
In spite of the ups and down, I still have a passion for life.
Just last week, the world celebrated Easter . . . the glorious resurrection of Jesus Christ.
While Jesus had disciples who learned and did so much from Him and with Him, prior to Jesus’ death on the cross, they found life much more abundantly in the years they had afterwards. They were able to travel to various locations, preaching the Good News to so many. Miracles occurred again and again. However, their stories cannot be told without also knowing that they each experienced what we would call negatives in life.
While that was so long ago, I can’t help but see that they felt more alive than ever before. How? Because, even after all of my own painful life experiences, God has shown me through all of my life that the great moments in life are that much sweeter. The great moments in life aren’t as powerful, without also knowing the other side. Life is fabulously amazing, because He lives.
Because He lives, the art and beauty of this world and universe exist.
Because He lives, we get to have others to love and to be loved, in return.
Because He lives, we are still in awe when we see an amazing sunrise or sunset, when we hear the laughter of children, when someone says or does just the right thing when we need it most and when we experience the joy of God through it all.
Because He lives, we know the negative parts of life are not all that exist.
Because He lives, we have those who provide healing for the mind and body.
Because He lives, we have churches that remind us that we are meant to live in community, we are here for a purpose and we are wondrously loved and wanted.
Because He lives, we have teachers who spend time helping others to find themselves, to learn, to connect and to find their passions.
Because He lives, we can get back up again after traumas that will forever remind us that life is fragile, but there is still so much abundance of life giving moments ahead for us . . . HOPE.
Because He lives, we live. That’s something to rejoice over.
Life is meant to be fully lived. While trials may come, never forget the joys of being alive.
JUST BREATHE
For while I have breath I know I am alive For while I have breath I enjoy the beauty of life For while I have breath I can embrace another For while I have breath I am a wife and a mother For while I have breath I can sing and dance For while I have breath I can take another chance For while I have breath I can live my passions For while I have breath I can provide compassion For while I have breath I can dream great dreams For while I have breath I have faith in the unseen For while I have breath I can make this world better For while I have breath God always holds me together For every breath that I will ever breathe I will know I was created By the King of kings.
Being alive will always have its heartaches, but one thing I have learned from knowing how quickly one’s breath can be taken from them, is to never take a single inhale/exhale for granted. Never believe that we don’t matter. Never lose sight of hope. For within each breath we take, there are so many moments we are meant to be a part of and wonderful people whose lives are meant to intersect with ours. Every breath is a reminder of life, because He lives.
Don’t allow the hardships of life to tear you down. For we are more than just ourselves. There is purpose. We were made with strength. We were made with love. We were made to live life abundantly.
With every breath, know that you are alive for far greater things and with each breath your breathe you are walking further into your destiny. So never forget how each inhale and exhale matters. YOU MATTER!
As a proud citizen of this nation, especially having lived in the NYC metro area during 9/11 and then seeing what occurred at the Capitol in Washington, D.C. on Wednesday, I have so many feelings and thoughts.
I am angered that people like those who caused the rioting insurrection were able to even get that close to the Capitol, let alone within it.
I am completely disappointed that law and order wasn’t in place far sooner in a manner that would have prevented what happened.
I am saddened by the deaths and huge amounts of those severely injured.
I am still aghast that those who represent our states on one of the most important days had to fear for their lives and go through all they did.
I am at a loss that in a time when our nation has endured so much and still has so much fear related to COVID-19 that a human who’s supposed to lead this nation that stands for democracy has instilled such additional levels of fear on top of the flames of all of his insane rhetoric on a worldwide stage.
While this nation won’t ever forget the act of insurrection on January 6, 2021, I will also fondly remember . . .
The power of people who worked together for the better good.
The day when Georgia’s senatorial race made major history on Tuesday, January 5, 2021.
Reverend Raphael Warnock became Georgia’s first African American senator who is the pastor of the church founded by Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and Rev. Martin Luther King Sr.
Jon Ossoff became Georgia’s first Jewish person elected as senator.
Together they changed a strong red state with the help of many people of that state to a blue one.
When our nation’s government officials didn’t fail democracy on January 6th, to make sure that law and order, that the ways of our democracy would prevail before they left the building that hours before had brought many of them terror.
When social media (Facebook, Instagram and Twitter) took away the current president’s ability to worsen an already terrible barrage towards violence, at least through those mediums.
When Twitter stated on January 8, 2021 would permanently ban this president from ever having an account again. Perhaps this will lead to others getting the same ban due to the extreme harm done against humanity.
I will also remember discussing what occurred at the Capitol on January 7th with my middle school students, because what they knew, how they thought and felt about the insurrection and how democracy still prevailed afterwards, instilled in me an even deeper hope in he future of our nation.
I know that generations caused a lot of harm in our nation, but along those paths, we have begun seeing tremendous amounts of evidence that the tide is turning and a better sun rising in more ways than one.
I choose to not let all of the horrific acts reign stronger, but rather be a stark contrast to what all the good that is rising up in phenomenal ways towards a more perfect nation. No land is perfect, but I can see a better one across the horizon.
As we usher in 2021, may we remember what truly matters.
So many are looking for 2021 to help us heal from what’s happened in 2020. Deaths of loved ones. Isolation. Lockdowns. Normal education having so many shifts. Fears in various forms. Faith and hope shaken up. Places shut down. Shortages and hoarding. Events cancelled. Places of worship shutting doors for weeks and months on end. Political unrest in ways never seen before. Racism and prejudices becoming harder to ignore. Loss of jobs, food, homes, relationships, and the list goes on and on.
I get it. I have faced a lot of that myself, as I’m sure you have, too.
There’s not a single human who can rescue us. God does all He can for us, yet we humans don’t make it easy. We never have.
We want life to get back to normal, while much of what was normal needed changing. Normal doesn’t exist.
We want masks gone. Not seeing full faces is not in our nature.
We want to hug and touch others. Humans crave connections.
We want to be there for our loved ones in the hospital or in adult care facilities. Going through hard times alone is not what we were meant to endure.
We want to gather with others for weddings, births, funerals and celebrations. Life milestones are important.
We want some sense of predictability we can rely on, after all of this. Yet, when was life ever predictable?
2021 will not erase the past and it will not entirely fix the world. However, each of us can do our parts and be the change this nation and world needs, be truly selfless and the best versions of who we each are meant to be in the time we have on this planet.
The best way to make 2021 a better year, involves all of us. May we do all we can to water those seeds.
We can each make the differences that are needed, making life easier for all. Each of us have purpose and it is those purposes within us that are parts of so many solutions. There is much to be changed, no doubt.
However, if we truly consider our fellow humans and other living creatures that inhabit the land, sea and skies, as well as the planet itself and our Creator, life in 2021 can be the turning point that can finally get us all on the right path.
By truly choosing to see others as humans who have their own burdens, we can have more compassion.
By truly listening to understand, rather than to have our say, we can have more empathy.
By giving of the resources we have to those in need, we can heal.
By trusting those who have proven themselves worthy and by giving the benefit of the doubt to others till shown otherwise, we can have more respect for others.
By seeking truth and not just trying to confirm our own conceptions, we can have better discernment.
By doing all we can, by valuing the lives of other, we can have more unity.
We are always a part of the equation. Each of us have more power to do good than most of us believe. Step out in 2021 and let’s do this, together!
While we head into 2021 in a matter of hours, reflect on what you have learned during this past year. Reflect on the good moments, because they also happened even if some were different than prior years, and learn from the bad ones.
While no year can fix so much, we can shift the trajectory too many of us have been on and begin moving into brighter days, weeks, months and years. We can leave a better legacy for those who come after us, rather than leaving behind more heartache.
May we all see the pandemic end or at least lessen to a huge degree soon.
Are you ready to be the fulcrum? Come join me and so many others. A shift is about to happen and we have plenty of room on the ride.
May we give, love, laugh, and enjoy one another more than ever before.
Let’s make 2021 the year we all begin to heal and help others to heal, because we seek to make our lives and those all around us the best examples of ourselves that we all need. When we are each on the other side of Heaven, may we truly do so knowing that we were “good and faithful servants” to all.
As we look in the mirror, may we each remember that today is a good day to have a good day, for us and for others. https://nikkibanas.com/
Healing comes in many ways. Seek and you shall find.
A selfie I took of myself in April of this year during the pandemic lockdown. Through all of life’s ups and downs, miracles still happen.
Christmas began over 2000 years ago When a miracle came to Earth And ever since our Savior came We are reminded of His miracle birth And here I exist in this world we live Knowing miracles continue to be For I’ve been healed in a number of ways By the One who I can feel within me I’ve seen prayers answered in mysterious ways Giving us a child who made our family more whole If not for the fact that He truly lives This part of our story could not be told And if this Christmas, in this world we live, It’s a struggle to see miracles exist Look at the eyes and hearts of each child Because within them believing just is For as each December comes along In spite of the unrest all around A Savior reminds us that miracles happen And for ALL, there’s hope to be found.
This is November 23, 2023 and this is me today. The photos below are from 2020. Read the story below of some of my miracles.
Thanksgiving is about gratitude and with God, we can be thankful all year long with Him in our lives.
After reading today’s blog post, know that miracles happen for a reason. Each one of us matter. May miracles awaken you to see how you’re supposed to change this world for the better.
During these pandemic times, it is easy to focus on all of the negative aspects of life. However, with Thanksgiving less than a week away, it’s normally a time when we stop and think of what and who we are thankful for, in our lives. Now, more than ever, this is needed on a more regular basis.
I’d like to tell you some parts of my story. While many believe in certain miracles, there are those who don’t believe a miracle can happen in their own lives. For that matter, there are those that try to explain miracles away.
However, I am a walking miracle.
At the age of 12, I began having severe allergies and asthma out of the blue, it seemed. It all began as I was walking home from school with a friend of mine. Towards the start, my breathing became labored and only got worse as we walked the mile to my home. By the time we arrived, she had been holding me up to help me continue on and I collapsed into the entrance and onto the floor, as my mom opened the door. Within a short time, I was in my doctor’s office getting injections immediately, as they treated me and having confirmed what was happening.
Within a year of that same time, I also received confirmation that I had scoliosis. After finding a specialist, I was able to see that my spine was a perfect backwards S, which now made all of my back pains make sense. The pain was often horrendous and limited certain movements, as well.
When life is out of our control, there is One who is far greater than us.
Having severe allergies and asthma limited me from being around certain animals and various types of environments. I couldn’t exercise very much, as it too would exacerbate the asthma. I had to avoid any part of stores with strong smells, especially the lower levels of department stores with all the perfume and cologne scents. Being even on the farther side of those floors would trigger my lungs to spasm or get worse. From middle school through adulthood, I had specialists for my back, as well as for the allergies and asthma.
Over time, I just learned to adjust and tolerate the back pains, no matter how bad they got. As for the asthma, I hated how often it debilitated me from doing ordinary things and struggling to breathe through what felt like an airway the size of maybe a coffee stirrer straw.
Then, the miracles.
In 2000, I was at church. The pastor was up front praying and so were all of us. Eyes were closed and many of us were standing, as I was in my pew. Suddenly, I heard God clearly say to me, “I know you’re in pain, and I know you have had others pray for you, but have you ever asked me to heal you?” Incredulously, I realized I never had asked him for this, though I had believed in the power of prayer since my earliest of years.
So I prayed. Then, the miracle happened, as I heard clicking sounds within me as my spine realigned and felt my body jolt with the transition. With everyone’s eyes closed in prayer, no one appeared to have noticed, but I began praising God as tears came down my face.
I had my family members and close friends touch my spine once the church service was over so they could realize this great miracle. There was no doubt that God had done what I explained to them. Glory, Hallelujah!
As for the allergies and asthma, they continued. I had gotten used to seeing a specialist regularly and all I had to use to manage. I have always loved singing and while I managed being on worship teams at various churches in my life, it never occurred to me how much of a miracle my strong singing capabilities were, with the asthma as severe as it was.
I always chalked that up to various exercises I started and continued doing on a regular basis to maintain as much breathing capacity as possible every day, and most especially so I can continue singing. Little did I know what a great miracle it was to sing as bad as the asthma was.
Over time, I had accepted the fact, based on what specialists had told me that I was extremely likely that I would not be able to have a child without dying in the process and most definitely without alerting them first should a pregnancy ever happen in my future. There had been so many complications within my body, from everything, that there was little chance of me surviving something like that.
Through the years, I had even had several times when I nearly died. The worst occurred while I was at work. A situation occurred that caused the asthma to go into overdrive. Paramedics came, and I knew it was the worse situation I had yet to experience, since there were so many of them and so much that they were doing to me, beyond what I’ve ever experienced.
One of those paramedics was the father of two of my former students who after my recovery, came to visit me weeks later, because something had been gnawing at him since that day: How was I still alive? I looked at him and asked, “What do you mean?”
That’s when I learned that with everything that was hooked up and connected to me, I should have died either at my place of work, on the way or surely by the time I got to the hospital. Every indicator showed that I had zero percent oxygen in my system and my body was shutting down.
Yet, I remained conscious, even making him get me paper and pen to communicate with them, so my things could be gotten for me from my classroom and so whoever ended up teaching my students would know what to do. He said that’s why we all seemed so incredulous that day, as well as quite scared.
All, I can say is that God performed another miracle that day. Little did I know there was a greater one to come years later.
On April 7, 2013 God healed me completely of my major allergies and fully healed me from asthma. By that point in my life, I was on several medications for the allergies, plus several inhalers for the asthma, along with an epipen. These went with me everywhere I went. I always needed people to know where these things were, in case of emergencies, because emergencies happened often enough to warrant it.
So on that day in 2013, God chose to do another miracle. From that day onward, I have only needed over the counter help for minor allergies. All other allergies were gone and never returned. The asthma was a complete thing of the past.
No more specialists. No more multiple medications, inhalers, injections, nor any need for the epipen. In fact, I was given an opportunity once to get an x-ray of my back, to see what it looked like years after my spine realigned. To see my spine fully straight wasn’t necessary for me, but it was wonderful to see. The only signs of it was a minuscule curve at the base and the fact that though my growth plates had already closed when the scoliosis had been originally confirmed, the miracle also gave me more height.
God wants the best for us, even when we don’t.
Since those miraculous moment, I have been able to be more active. I can be around animals, grass being mowed near me no longer meant that I had to isolate myself, walking in any place I chose became possible, and even being near trees of all types. I’ve had so many opportunities open up for me, with the results of those miracles. In fact, all of that allowed me to do my love of photography.
These parts of my life are just part of what I have personally experienced in my life, and I thank Almighty God, my Savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit for every bit of what I know are miracles.
You may be thinking that I must have been granted miracles in my life, because of who I am. Trust me when I say that’s not the case. God performs miracles because of who He is.
God loves and wants us to know Him, no matter who we are. While He performs miracles each day, many don’t notice them for what they are. Some try to explain them away, but if you really think about the details of what occurred, there’s only one answer: a miracle.
Check out the YouVersion Bible app or open your Bible if you have one, and see all of the miracles God has already done. Those people lived. Even those who don’t claim Jesus for who He was and is recorded much of the miraculous events that occurred.
If you are reading this, you too are a “living, breathing, walking miracle,” as written and sung by singer Matthew West in the video below. Listen to what happened to this young boy and others, and listen to the truth of this song. What have you got to lose?
Isn’t it time to start dwelling on the good in our lives? With God, there is hope. True hope. There is good in the world.
Still feeling skeptical? Please take a listen to Colton Dixon’s song “Miracles” which also came out this year. I don’t believe in coincidences. But, I do believe in miracles. In this song, you’ll hear from a believer, who also finds himself in awe every time God does miracles.
I would love to hear about your miracles. It’s great to read about those done for others. This Thanksgiving season and as we continue living through these times, know that you are here for a reason. You are here with purpose, a good purpose.
If you ever want to know more about this God of miracles, I would love to tell you more. He loves you no matter who you are, what you’ve done or what you think of yourself. He doesn’t want to change your world upside down. He simply wants to show you how much more there is for you. Trust me when I say that there is far more to my story, and I know without a doubt that He lives, that He is real and that He is trustworthy.
While there is much in life we cannot control. He can.
WORSHIP MUSIC IS A POWERFUL GATEWAY TO BREAKTHROUGHS. May you be blessed by these two songs that relate so well with the poem above.
Life.Church just released a new album this week and this song really encapsulates this time and a reminder that God is the God of Hope and will NEVER let go of us.
No matter how dark it gets, God’s light is still stronger. As one line in this song says, “The darkest night, You can light it up.”
Rachel's Reflections 