From the day that my parents got pregnant with me, they were both excited. The photos I’ve seen show that to be true, but more than that, as I grew through the years my dad set so many great examples in my life. While no dad is perfect, as I became an adult, I learned that most parents try to do their best. Especially now, I have a relationship with him that is more like the times that I’ve always cherished the most.
BEING AVAILABLE My dad and I love talking with other people. We thrive on engaging with others and both of us love and respect people. So, since as long as I can remember, I have loved the times when my dad spent time talking with me. He was so good sharing with me when I had questions, and trust me when I say I had A LOT of questions. No matter what, he ALWAYS stopped what he might be doing to chat with me.
Often, after we were close to the end of family dinner, I would ask him deep questions ever since I was young. I often asked him about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, all sorts of parts of the Bible, and also about the horrible things that exist in the world. What often happened next was that my dad would respond to every part of what I asked, and he always showed me the scriptures to read over, to think about and to come back and let me know what I thought. While you may think the conversations were easy . . . they were not.
My dad and I would stay at that table or sometimes shift over to the living room, talking for literally 3 to 4 hours. This made me feel loved, seen, heard and cherished. However, it wouldn’t be until my adulthood and even more so when I became a parent that I realized how many nights my dad must have stopped for hours when he might have been exhausted. He never brushed me off to take care of other things, when I wanted to have a conversation. If that wasn’t enough, my dad and I would often walk by the marina by where we lived and walk by the ocean and the pathways, people watching, enjoying the weather and talk, talk, talk about whatever he or I had on our minds.
Now, I cherish my conversations with him even more, and I don’t think we ever stop talking less than an hour each time. I love how similar we can be in that way and how much we have in common. My dad has always helped me to gain so much wisdom about following God and why, not just by what I asked, but he’s always been an open book. That made me see our Creator as the best God ever, which He is, and even when life has been difficult I know that my dad and I can discuss anything. All of that is also why I love the Lord so very much, trust Him completely and will discuss with him every day. Thanks Dad!
SACRIFICE My dad, as well as my mom, grew up poor and wanted more in life as adults. More importantly, that meant talking a lot whether it was difficult or not. Sometimes I had to get through to my dad or he had to get through to me, but eventually we get there. While I knew that when my grandpa was on this side of Heaven, my dad’s father and he would talk on the phone or whenever he was available in person. Maybe my dad learned that from his father, but whatever he learned from grandpa or from his experiences, talking things out is something I truly cherish with others.
Now, I started this part about my parents being poor. The benefits of that to me and my sister were many. My parents always did everything they could for us, no matter what, to the best of their abilities. We lived in an apartment that was safe with a good school, and then, my dad was able to get us a house by the beach in another state and we loved living there. Owning a house was something that took sacrifice in so many ways for him, but he did that, for all of us.
I know that my dad learned sacrificing as he grew up, but I’m so glad that he does that. His sacrifices confirmed even more why God sacrificed His Son so we could live with Him in Heaven and have Him with us, while we are here. While I know that many people struggle with even the concept of God, my dad and I both love to read the Bible, books about the Lord and all the various parts that impact our lives, but Jesus was sacrificed for our own salvation. My dad has had to train me in so many ways that had to be a sacrifice when it was hard on me, but if it wasn’t for what my dad has done in my life, I wouldn’t be the person that I am . . . a woman of strength, convictions, love, wise, and so much more. Thanks, Dad!
FAMILY As a family, since my parents hadn’t gone on vacations growing up, we had amazing summers. Life was always fun during that season while at home, but every summer we went on vacations. Sometimes it was close by and often it was also far away. Almost always we drove and camped, while we went to most of the east coast and other states beyond.
Little did I know how much sacrifice was a part of those times, when my dad was the bread winner and we went on amazing vacations: Hershey Park, Disney World, Washington, D.C., Puerto Rico, several countries in Canada, and every place we traveled to were so fun. Later, I realized that camping was my dad’s way of saving money to go to places so we could experience trips that he and my mom never got to see and do, and we loved camping. It was always an adventure, meeting so many new people and so many locations of beauty and information, as well as learning how different people talk from state to state. I don’t remember ever not having a vacation each summer and to this day, I know what a gift that is.
Another part of the family life was that music and dancing have always been a part of our Puerto Rican culture. So, when it was time to wake up, I still remember my dad waking me up with the song, “Rise, and shine and give God the glory, glory! Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory! Rise and shine, and give God the glory, glory! Children, of the Lord!” By the end of that, we were definitely up and out of bed, though sometimes he had to do a 2nd round.
I loved watching him dance with my mom in the kitchen. I loved the music playing in our home and when we were outside our home. My dad has always been a great singer, as is my sister and me and having that commonality has made me so thankful for music, especially with how it impact others and definitely me. Thanks, Dad!
GRACE My dad and I have had so many great times and we still do, even though we are miles apart. However, that has always taken a lot of grace. Since we are Christians, we understand the purpose of grace and how much God gives every person in life grace, even when they don’t want to believe He exists. However, my dad taught me about grace so many times with who he is and I’ve learned grace, from both my dad and my Heavenly Father. There will be hard times. There will be scary times. There will be hateful times. However, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE and a HUGE HEAP OF GRACE always is what I try to give as I’ve seen my dad do the hard things including giving grace and even admitting his own issues, as we all have. But, what I love the most about my dad is that he’s always real, always true and always loving to a fault. Thanks, Dad!
SACRIFICE, FAMILY & GRACE It’s also how I am who I am, in addition to following the Lord’s ways. While there are so many hard things in this world, I cherish having my dad around for as long as he lives. While he and I love sharing the great things we can enjoy in this word, as well, I’m also grateful he is my dad.
I know that you sacrificed when I had to do the hard things on my own. Thank You!
I know that I love family, whether by birth or by meeting people I am meant to call “framily” (friends/family), and I love first whenever I possibly can.
I am also still learning about grace, but I’m doing my best. May I always try my best and hopefully be understood in my attempts.
Dad, keep loving others as you do and always learning like we both do. Keep enjoying life to the fullest, and know that having you in my life has been and always will be a gift to me. ❤️ Father’s Day! Te quiero mucho! ❤️
Within the darkness, God’s love within us shines brighter.
We thrive in the midst of cracks that life sends our way For when it is truly dark, our light still remains To see us through the hard times, the sad times and the pain As we allow God to further grow us into the beauty that He’s made.
Just as a child comes into the world, often starting with a cry It is often our struggles that truly make us thrive For when we are pushed beyond what it is that we desire It’s then that what’s within us starts truly turning into a fire.
One that ignites justice One that brings warmth One that allows others to gather and to be close One that provides a source to guide us along the way One that reminds us that our light has something to say One that speaks louder when so much may seem dark One that draws us to singing around the glory of its sparks For as the fire grows, we see the cracks for what they are They are there to let us know that God is never far The light that’s within was never meant to be kept small For we are meant to BE LOVE in the darkness most of all.
If 2020-2021 has taught me anything it has most taught me the necessity to relax. With so much happening that none of us were expecting, I learned to value time with those I love, respect and enjoy being around.
It’s also so important to enjoy some time with yourself doing what brings you joy.
I learned that some things I once viewed as necessary may not have been so important. This also helped me to find more balance in my life, with personal life, work life and my spiritual life. When one part overwhelms the others exponentially, the equation of our lives can lose focus.
Our ways to balance life will not always look the same, but finding the right balance is vital.
Spending time doing nothing, alone or with others, is not a waste of time. I have found a lot of calmness, peace and time to think more clearly in those moments. Relaxing is not a bad use of time. It provides us with more time.
Taking a break when the weather is especially nice, just because you can.
Laughing, dancing and talking with friends and/or family are some of the best forms of relaxing that I’ve experienced over this past summer. Finding who you need in life helps us to stay healthy, happy and living the lives we are meant to live. It also helps to keep us accountable.
Find your people and relax together just as strongly as you support one another in the other portions of your lives.
Relaxing definitely looks different at various times and can be very different for each of us, but it is so crucial to our mental health. While we should all take care of our physical bodies, this past year has taught us so much of the importance of mental health for all of us. No one is one dimensional. We are multifaceted for a reason.
Whether it’s time to relax or time to work, stay persistent in living a life of balance.
If you need more balance, make it happen. Value yourself. Value others. Make it happen. You may need to start small, or you may be able to drastically change your life immediately, but whatever you do . . . relax.
If you need someone to tell you, it’s a gift to yourself and others when you spend time relaxing. Life is too short, and we all need time to enjoy as much of it as we possibly can.
As a proud citizen of this nation, especially having lived in the NYC metro area during 9/11 and then seeing what occurred at the Capitol in Washington, D.C. on Wednesday, I have so many feelings and thoughts.
I am angered that people like those who caused the rioting insurrection were able to even get that close to the Capitol, let alone within it.
I am completely disappointed that law and order wasn’t in place far sooner in a manner that would have prevented what happened.
I am saddened by the deaths and huge amounts of those severely injured.
I am still aghast that those who represent our states on one of the most important days had to fear for their lives and go through all they did.
I am at a loss that in a time when our nation has endured so much and still has so much fear related to COVID-19 that a human who’s supposed to lead this nation that stands for democracy has instilled such additional levels of fear on top of the flames of all of his insane rhetoric on a worldwide stage.
While this nation won’t ever forget the act of insurrection on January 6, 2021, I will also fondly remember . . .
The power of people who worked together for the better good.
The day when Georgia’s senatorial race made major history on Tuesday, January 5, 2021.
Reverend Raphael Warnock became Georgia’s first African American senator who is the pastor of the church founded by Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and Rev. Martin Luther King Sr.
Jon Ossoff became Georgia’s first Jewish person elected as senator.
Together they changed a strong red state with the help of many people of that state to a blue one.
When our nation’s government officials didn’t fail democracy on January 6th, to make sure that law and order, that the ways of our democracy would prevail before they left the building that hours before had brought many of them terror.
When social media (Facebook, Instagram and Twitter) took away the current president’s ability to worsen an already terrible barrage towards violence, at least through those mediums.
When Twitter stated on January 8, 2021 would permanently ban this president from ever having an account again. Perhaps this will lead to others getting the same ban due to the extreme harm done against humanity.
I will also remember discussing what occurred at the Capitol on January 7th with my middle school students, because what they knew, how they thought and felt about the insurrection and how democracy still prevailed afterwards, instilled in me an even deeper hope in he future of our nation.
I know that generations caused a lot of harm in our nation, but along those paths, we have begun seeing tremendous amounts of evidence that the tide is turning and a better sun rising in more ways than one.
I choose to not let all of the horrific acts reign stronger, but rather be a stark contrast to what all the good that is rising up in phenomenal ways towards a more perfect nation. No land is perfect, but I can see a better one across the horizon.
We are all meant to live in a way that betters the lives of others and this world.
Today was a GREAT day as a teacher. I had class discussions with groups in every hour of my day today about what happened yesterday at the Capitol. I allowed those who wanted to discuss or learn through the discussion to stay with me in the main part. The others who wanted to get work done were allowed to go to their own breakout sessions.
These 12-14 year olds continue to inspire me about what the younger generation will do to bring about more good into the world. They were articulate and able to explain with facts and reasoning. They are so very aware of far more and are not only thinking deeply about all they see, hear and witness. The passion in their voices and faces was something you could feel inside.
Some teared up openly, being moved by what they were feeling and seeing, but trusting us all to witness it. Middle school kids. I saw people understanding one another. I saw people being real. I saw students who joined with the intent simply to watch and listen, and then join the conversation. When I talked with them about the importance of them continuing talks like this with their families, friends and whoever they can, they made it clear to me that they would.
They are so clearly disappointed in so many adults who exist now and in years past who refused to see so much of the wrongs that have been done and are still doing. They want and plan to do better. To hear how many have already chosen to get involved with other causes on behalf of those like them and those not like them, because they’re human beings and not because they were made to is POWERFUL!!!
Then, in one of my final hours of the day, as I explained what they could discuss with me today if they desired, one of my middle school boys who is normally quite shy said the most amazing thing to me in the chat of our remote learning forum. He said, “I really appreciate how you always create such a safe environment for us. Thank you.” I told him how much that meant to me and asked, “Are you able to explain what you mean by that?”
Then he answered the best response. He said, “Well, you understand us middle school kids. We feel awkward all the time. I don’t even know how to really explain, because you know, it’s awkward. All I know is that you make us all feel less awkward.”
To top it off, this very shy boy then chose to join the conversation and keep his camera on. He didn’t speak, but his face spoke volumes.
THIS IS WHY I ABSOLUTELY LOVE TEACHING, in spite of this horrible year. For my students allowing me in like they do, whether in remote or in hybrid while also going through so much, inspires me to pick myself up and keep doing what I do.
What we educators do each day, in and outside of school, matters to so many generations. That’s a gift I will never take for granted, and knowing how many of my former students over these past 24 years have gotten in touch with me and keep me in their world, reminds me to never forget my WHY. When yesterday one of my early years of teaching middle school kids shared a post of how she feels as a black woman who is now a doctor making a difference in her own right, I told her how very proud I am of her. Even so many years later, they still appreciate knowing that their educators still care about them.
May what you do in life grow beyond yourself. We aren’t perfect humans, but at any point, we can choose to live our best lives so others will continue our journeys. The year 2020 and start of 2021 have shown a lot of what needs fixing. We can always do better. There are others counting on us, so they can go on and do their parts.
The more humane we can make this world, no matter what we do, is what we all should aspire to do. The kids are counting on us.
As we usher in 2021, may we remember what truly matters.
So many are looking for 2021 to help us heal from what’s happened in 2020. Deaths of loved ones. Isolation. Lockdowns. Normal education having so many shifts. Fears in various forms. Faith and hope shaken up. Places shut down. Shortages and hoarding. Events cancelled. Places of worship shutting doors for weeks and months on end. Political unrest in ways never seen before. Racism and prejudices becoming harder to ignore. Loss of jobs, food, homes, relationships, and the list goes on and on.
I get it. I have faced a lot of that myself, as I’m sure you have, too.
There’s not a single human who can rescue us. God does all He can for us, yet we humans don’t make it easy. We never have.
We want life to get back to normal, while much of what was normal needed changing. Normal doesn’t exist.
We want masks gone. Not seeing full faces is not in our nature.
We want to hug and touch others. Humans crave connections.
We want to be there for our loved ones in the hospital or in adult care facilities. Going through hard times alone is not what we were meant to endure.
We want to gather with others for weddings, births, funerals and celebrations. Life milestones are important.
We want some sense of predictability we can rely on, after all of this. Yet, when was life ever predictable?
2021 will not erase the past and it will not entirely fix the world. However, each of us can do our parts and be the change this nation and world needs, be truly selfless and the best versions of who we each are meant to be in the time we have on this planet.
The best way to make 2021 a better year, involves all of us. May we do all we can to water those seeds.
We can each make the differences that are needed, making life easier for all. Each of us have purpose and it is those purposes within us that are parts of so many solutions. There is much to be changed, no doubt.
However, if we truly consider our fellow humans and other living creatures that inhabit the land, sea and skies, as well as the planet itself and our Creator, life in 2021 can be the turning point that can finally get us all on the right path.
By truly choosing to see others as humans who have their own burdens, we can have more compassion.
By truly listening to understand, rather than to have our say, we can have more empathy.
By giving of the resources we have to those in need, we can heal.
By trusting those who have proven themselves worthy and by giving the benefit of the doubt to others till shown otherwise, we can have more respect for others.
By seeking truth and not just trying to confirm our own conceptions, we can have better discernment.
By doing all we can, by valuing the lives of other, we can have more unity.
We are always a part of the equation. Each of us have more power to do good than most of us believe. Step out in 2021 and let’s do this, together!
While we head into 2021 in a matter of hours, reflect on what you have learned during this past year. Reflect on the good moments, because they also happened even if some were different than prior years, and learn from the bad ones.
While no year can fix so much, we can shift the trajectory too many of us have been on and begin moving into brighter days, weeks, months and years. We can leave a better legacy for those who come after us, rather than leaving behind more heartache.
May we all see the pandemic end or at least lessen to a huge degree soon.
Are you ready to be the fulcrum? Come join me and so many others. A shift is about to happen and we have plenty of room on the ride.
May we give, love, laugh, and enjoy one another more than ever before.
Let’s make 2021 the year we all begin to heal and help others to heal, because we seek to make our lives and those all around us the best examples of ourselves that we all need. When we are each on the other side of Heaven, may we truly do so knowing that we were “good and faithful servants” to all.
As we look in the mirror, may we each remember that today is a good day to have a good day, for us and for others. https://nikkibanas.com/
Healing comes in many ways. Seek and you shall find.
This is November 23, 2023 and this is me today. The photos below are from 2020. Read the story below of some of my miracles.
Thanksgiving is about gratitude and with God, we can be thankful all year long with Him in our lives.
After reading today’s blog post, know that miracles happen for a reason. Each one of us matter. May miracles awaken you to see how you’re supposed to change this world for the better.
During these pandemic times, it is easy to focus on all of the negative aspects of life. However, with Thanksgiving less than a week away, it’s normally a time when we stop and think of what and who we are thankful for, in our lives. Now, more than ever, this is needed on a more regular basis.
I’d like to tell you some parts of my story. While many believe in certain miracles, there are those who don’t believe a miracle can happen in their own lives. For that matter, there are those that try to explain miracles away.
However, I am a walking miracle.
At the age of 12, I began having severe allergies and asthma out of the blue, it seemed. It all began as I was walking home from school with a friend of mine. Towards the start, my breathing became labored and only got worse as we walked the mile to my home. By the time we arrived, she had been holding me up to help me continue on and I collapsed into the entrance and onto the floor, as my mom opened the door. Within a short time, I was in my doctor’s office getting injections immediately, as they treated me and having confirmed what was happening.
Within a year of that same time, I also received confirmation that I had scoliosis. After finding a specialist, I was able to see that my spine was a perfect backwards S, which now made all of my back pains make sense. The pain was often horrendous and limited certain movements, as well.
When life is out of our control, there is One who is far greater than us.
Having severe allergies and asthma limited me from being around certain animals and various types of environments. I couldn’t exercise very much, as it too would exacerbate the asthma. I had to avoid any part of stores with strong smells, especially the lower levels of department stores with all the perfume and cologne scents. Being even on the farther side of those floors would trigger my lungs to spasm or get worse. From middle school through adulthood, I had specialists for my back, as well as for the allergies and asthma.
Over time, I just learned to adjust and tolerate the back pains, no matter how bad they got. As for the asthma, I hated how often it debilitated me from doing ordinary things and struggling to breathe through what felt like an airway the size of maybe a coffee stirrer straw.
Then, the miracles.
In 2000, I was at church. The pastor was up front praying and so were all of us. Eyes were closed and many of us were standing, as I was in my pew. Suddenly, I heard God clearly say to me, “I know you’re in pain, and I know you have had others pray for you, but have you ever asked me to heal you?” Incredulously, I realized I never had asked him for this, though I had believed in the power of prayer since my earliest of years.
So I prayed. Then, the miracle happened, as I heard clicking sounds within me as my spine realigned and felt my body jolt with the transition. With everyone’s eyes closed in prayer, no one appeared to have noticed, but I began praising God as tears came down my face.
I had my family members and close friends touch my spine once the church service was over so they could realize this great miracle. There was no doubt that God had done what I explained to them. Glory, Hallelujah!
As for the allergies and asthma, they continued. I had gotten used to seeing a specialist regularly and all I had to use to manage. I have always loved singing and while I managed being on worship teams at various churches in my life, it never occurred to me how much of a miracle my strong singing capabilities were, with the asthma as severe as it was.
I always chalked that up to various exercises I started and continued doing on a regular basis to maintain as much breathing capacity as possible every day, and most especially so I can continue singing. Little did I know what a great miracle it was to sing as bad as the asthma was.
Over time, I had accepted the fact, based on what specialists had told me that I was extremely likely that I would not be able to have a child without dying in the process and most definitely without alerting them first should a pregnancy ever happen in my future. There had been so many complications within my body, from everything, that there was little chance of me surviving something like that.
Through the years, I had even had several times when I nearly died. The worst occurred while I was at work. A situation occurred that caused the asthma to go into overdrive. Paramedics came, and I knew it was the worse situation I had yet to experience, since there were so many of them and so much that they were doing to me, beyond what I’ve ever experienced.
One of those paramedics was the father of two of my former students who after my recovery, came to visit me weeks later, because something had been gnawing at him since that day: How was I still alive? I looked at him and asked, “What do you mean?”
That’s when I learned that with everything that was hooked up and connected to me, I should have died either at my place of work, on the way or surely by the time I got to the hospital. Every indicator showed that I had zero percent oxygen in my system and my body was shutting down.
Yet, I remained conscious, even making him get me paper and pen to communicate with them, so my things could be gotten for me from my classroom and so whoever ended up teaching my students would know what to do. He said that’s why we all seemed so incredulous that day, as well as quite scared.
All, I can say is that God performed another miracle that day. Little did I know there was a greater one to come years later.
On April 7, 2013 God healed me completely of my major allergies and fully healed me from asthma. By that point in my life, I was on several medications for the allergies, plus several inhalers for the asthma, along with an epipen. These went with me everywhere I went. I always needed people to know where these things were, in case of emergencies, because emergencies happened often enough to warrant it.
So on that day in 2013, God chose to do another miracle. From that day onward, I have only needed over the counter help for minor allergies. All other allergies were gone and never returned. The asthma was a complete thing of the past.
No more specialists. No more multiple medications, inhalers, injections, nor any need for the epipen. In fact, I was given an opportunity once to get an x-ray of my back, to see what it looked like years after my spine realigned. To see my spine fully straight wasn’t necessary for me, but it was wonderful to see. The only signs of it was a minuscule curve at the base and the fact that though my growth plates had already closed when the scoliosis had been originally confirmed, the miracle also gave me more height.
God wants the best for us, even when we don’t.
Since those miraculous moment, I have been able to be more active. I can be around animals, grass being mowed near me no longer meant that I had to isolate myself, walking in any place I chose became possible, and even being near trees of all types. I’ve had so many opportunities open up for me, with the results of those miracles. In fact, all of that allowed me to do my love of photography.
These parts of my life are just part of what I have personally experienced in my life, and I thank Almighty God, my Savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit for every bit of what I know are miracles.
You may be thinking that I must have been granted miracles in my life, because of who I am. Trust me when I say that’s not the case. God performs miracles because of who He is.
God loves and wants us to know Him, no matter who we are. While He performs miracles each day, many don’t notice them for what they are. Some try to explain them away, but if you really think about the details of what occurred, there’s only one answer: a miracle.
Check out the YouVersion Bible app or open your Bible if you have one, and see all of the miracles God has already done. Those people lived. Even those who don’t claim Jesus for who He was and is recorded much of the miraculous events that occurred.
If you are reading this, you too are a “living, breathing, walking miracle,” as written and sung by singer Matthew West in the video below. Listen to what happened to this young boy and others, and listen to the truth of this song. What have you got to lose?
Isn’t it time to start dwelling on the good in our lives? With God, there is hope. True hope. There is good in the world.
Still feeling skeptical? Please take a listen to Colton Dixon’s song “Miracles” which also came out this year. I don’t believe in coincidences. But, I do believe in miracles. In this song, you’ll hear from a believer, who also finds himself in awe every time God does miracles.
I would love to hear about your miracles. It’s great to read about those done for others. This Thanksgiving season and as we continue living through these times, know that you are here for a reason. You are here with purpose, a good purpose.
If you ever want to know more about this God of miracles, I would love to tell you more. He loves you no matter who you are, what you’ve done or what you think of yourself. He doesn’t want to change your world upside down. He simply wants to show you how much more there is for you. Trust me when I say that there is far more to my story, and I know without a doubt that He lives, that He is real and that He is trustworthy.
While there is much in life we cannot control. He can.
Rachel's Reflections 